Golf Lessons: Masters Edition

This Bubba Watson guy won The Masters yesterday.

I can hear you. What’s The Masters? Who even cares about The Masters?

Some people do. And in fact, I was one of those people yesterday.

Here are the reasons that golf sucked me in:

1. I figured if I watched golf, I would get a really good nap.

2. There was a really cute guy watching golf and I wanted to see if he was impressed by my interest in golf.

3. There was an American in second place and he was trying to beat a foreigner.

4. Everyone loves a good underdog story. (Except for the move Underdog. No one loved that.)

5. Especially when the American wins. Or Kentucky (SHOUT OUT!).

6. When I didn’t get what a “birdie” was, I just acted really cute and ditzy and was like, “oh haha, could you explain to me about what birdies are?”

7. When I didn’t get what an “eagle” was, I just acted really cute and ditzy and was like, “Oh, I get the birdie thing now, but what about this different eagle thing haha ::bat my eyelashes:: haha?”

8. The guy that won the Masters, kind of looks like Enrique Iglesias. Mainly because of his large face mole that he obviously gets his golf powers from.

9. I was able to quote lines from the all-time American Golf movie classic, Happy Gilmore, without judgement.

10. I will now be way more educated about the finer of the sports. Next up: croquet, polo, and off-shore banking.

Ladies, if you are thinking, “How long do I have to wait for football to start back again, so I can pretend to like sports, so I can  hang out with all of the handsome guys I know?” Don’t worry. There is plenty of time and plenty of sports. Including baseball. That sport is super confusing and super long. Pick a team and hold on for a roller coaster of emotions. A rollercoaster that goes really slow and lasts for the entire summer. Whatever you do though, don’t pick the team that from Moneyball. That is a pretend team. Just felt like I needed to clear that up. Anyways, I close with something else I learned while watching Golf today: “FORE!”

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This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

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