Saturday, July 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Fútbol Fun!

Let’s be honest, the World Cup soccer fever has gone away. All the hipsters of America who came out to enjoy sports for that month during the World Cup have now vanished away to the confines of their Indie concert halls and coffee shops.

However, with some cool things happening lately in the sport, we’d like to try and muster up that fever once more and pull those hipsters out into the sports world again and welcome them to Korked Bats.

Now, as a connoisseur of really bad soccer shots and skills, I can appreciate when a blooper or really horrendous soccer play comes around every now and then.

Trust me, this is one of those times.

Now keep in mind, I could not do any better worse than this. I am, by no means, more than the casual soccer player, and by the looks of this shot from a game last week, neither is this guy.

This look at the goal is more wide open than Terrell Owens running a fly route against Stephen Hawking.

AKA: How do you miss this shot?

Well, like I would if I was in his situation, this guy seemed to find a way to miss it. Poor guy, he’ll probably be executed by his country’s government now. God speed, my man.

• • •

This next video is just absolutely ridiculous on all accords.

First of all… The whole video, including all the info on YouTube, is in another language. I’m not going to even begin to guess as to what language as I wouldn’t want to offend any one by guessing the language is Hebrew, Islamic, Indian, Ebonic, Arabic, Dark Alley Graffic, Spanish, or Egyptian. So we’ll just move on.

Who ever is responsible for installing a swimming pool right next to this soccer field was an absolute… GENIUS! What a great idea, it makes the game so much more enjoyable and it makes the game so much more fun to watch. Don’t believe me? Just see for yourself:

The second funniest thing about this video is the guys reaction after he gets bumped by the guy who got pushed into the random swimming pool.

If you think there isn’t any flopping in soccer, allow this interaction to prove the point otherwise.

The guy barely gets grazed and he flops to the ground like he just got tazered… bro! Regardless of whether or not the guy got hurt on the post pool party interaction, the guy falling down in wincing pain is still hilarious.

Now, if you’re thinking, “Hey! That guy could be seriously hurt! Be more considerate!” I have the following response for you, “One: If you think he was seriously hurt go back and watch the video. Not even Samuel L. Jackson’s character from the movie Unbreakable could have been hurt on that touch… And Two: If you are saying this for this instance, then you better say if for nearly 98% of all videos they show on America’s Funniest Home Videos since all but about two videos they show on every episode are of someone getting hurt or a guy getting his man berries crushed.”


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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