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Forget Gatorade Showers For Coaches, Shaq Used To Piss In A Bucket For A Week And Pour It On Teammates

Sometimes you hear a story that’s so oddly specific, you have to believe the storyteller. And this anecdote from Gary Payton is one of those stories. Gary Payton is a legendary NBA player, sure. But when it comes to conceptualizing creative stories, I raise questions. So when he says hall of famer Shaquille O’Neal would piss into a bucket for an entire week before dumping it on rookies, then I can find no reason NOT to believe it, mainly because I read in a Sports Illustrated For Kids a long time ago that Shaq used to save his toenail clippings. So saving his urine doesn’t seem too far off base. But I love the idea of Gary Payton setting up this story by calling it a “joke” and referring to Shaq as a “jokester.” Ahhh, classic. Nothing better than the old dump pee-pee on a teammate prank.

Personally, if you dump a bucket of piss on me, I’m not gonna sit back and say, “Oh, man! Good one! You got me!” Deion Sanders dumping a bucket of water on Tim McCarver? Sure, I can see that as more of a joke. Albeit a rude joke with bad intentions, but still a joke. But if Primetime replaced the contents of that bucket with human-made lemonade, then that takes away the joke aspect. It’s a little less than a goof.

It reminds me of that scene from The Ten.

IT WAS A GOOF!

Dumping a bucket of piss on someone? It was a goof! And this is Shaq we’re talking about. A week’s worth of his piss from him can probably fill one of Butch Jones’s 36-gallon Rubbermaid trashcans. So you’re not just getting a little wet. You’re getting ‘standing on the bridge of an amusement park waterfall ride’ soaked. Good luck not smelling like a gas station bathroom for the rest of the week.

But hey, IT WAS A GOOF!

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin