Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Ford Is Unveiling The New Bronco On July 9 And Whoops! That’s O.J. Simpson’s Birthday

SOURCE – The global debut of the new Ford Bronco, one of the most highly anticipated products from the automaker in years, will occur July 9. But it might be carrying some unwanted baggage.

The resurrected SUV is scheduled to be unveiled on O.J. Simpson’s 73rd birthday.

First of all, before I get into this story, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that today is the 26-year anniversary of The Chase. No, not the Charlie Sheen/Kristy Swanson movie that coincidentally came out the same year. I’m talking the actual chase.

If you’ve never taken the time to watch this entire thing unfold, I highly suggest it. It’s mesmerizing.

Here’s a cliché take about this night, but imagine if Twitter was around for it. Seriously, watch this video and think about that thought. If Twitter freaked out over Brad Pitt grabbing Jennifer Aniston’s wrist this year, imagine the effect a former Heisman Trophy winner, turned 2,000 yard NFL rusher, turned Hertz spokesman, turned brilliant Naked Gun actor hiding in the backseat of a car driving down the 5 freeway and ultimately back up the 405. The memes alone would kill me. Allegedly.

Now, it’s a slick move for Ford to do this. Because unless you subscribe to AutoTrader magazine or can name any of the last ten J.D. Power award winners, then you probably had no idea when the new Ford Bronco is coming out. But now you do.

On the day of birth of the man convicted of committing one of the most heinous crimes in U.S. history. I’m not talk about the double-murder. That was only alleged. I’m not even talking about robbing a guy of memorabilia in a Vegas hotel. I’m of course referring to him operating the lamest Twitter account on the Internet. “Hello Twitter world, it’s yours truly… Here are my thoughts on [topic NOBODY wants to know O.J. Simpson’s opinions on], oh and also, [update on his fantasy team, that again, NOBODY WANTS].”

Jiyan Cadiz, a spokesman for Ford Motor, said Tuesday the “date is purely coincidental.” Ford was expected to unveil the vehicle earlier this spring but canceled the event due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Right, and I was expected to start going to the gym earlier this spring but had to cancel my membership due to the coronavirus pandemic. They literally had an entire summer and fall to re-schedule this event and they chose the one date their vehicle will forever be tied to.

Keep in mind, they discontinued the Bronco two years after the chase, and it’s taken them 24 years to get the stink off and re-add it to their lineup. So maybe it is coincidental, but you’d think maybe someone would double check that date before making it official.


Is Ford supposed to know the birthday of every celebrity and/or alleged double-murderer? No. But they should definitely know the birthday of THAT celebrity/alleged double-murderer. In fact, when deciding to re-release the Bronco, a car known for LITERALLY ONE THING EVER, they should’ve had that date circled on a calendar in red Sharpie.

You may call it brilliant marketing. And it is… if you want to keep the image of the most infamous murder trial in U.S. history associated with your car. And if that’s the case, why not unveil the new Bronco by blocking off the 405 and driving it north to Brentwood. Hell, hold the entire event on Bundy. You could gift everyone their own pair of black Isotoner driving gloves. Maybe also give them their own knives to open up the packaging with. Hell, Ford is famous for the Model-T, why not rename the Bronco “the Model O. لعب بوكر J.?”

All I’m saying is you don’t see Jos. A. Bank rolling out a fresh new line of white suits on Ray Lewis’s birthday or bathroom door companies unveiling new models on Oscar Pistorius’s birthday. الروليت اون لاين

P.S. I also love that this news dropped on June 16th. Which just so happens to be A.C. Cowling’s birthday. Happy birthday, A.C.! Hopefully somebody gets you a new Ford Bronco. القمار على الانترنت


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.