Literally everyone has a take on the Astros.
We all know Dick Vitale’s voice and tone. It’s like the sound of a whiny girlfriend mixed with Jerry Seinfeld. So please read his following quote in that tone.
“C’mon now, the Astros. Mr. Commissioner, get that banner down. Cheating. Ridiculous. You can’t have that. It takes away from the integrity of the game. Are you kidding me? The investigation showed they cheated like crazy. That banner’s gotta come down.”
If this doesn’t light a fire under Rob Manfred’s ass, I don’t know what will.
I imagine Manfred’s at home, trying to escape the mess he’s been in over the last two months, and just like, “I want to sit down and enjoy a college basketball game just to free my mind.” Then off the top rope comes Big Dick Vitale with the pile-drive of Manfred’s skull.
For those counting, that’s now Dick Vitale, LeBron James, and just about every single player in Major League Baseball. Better go ahead and check with your grandpa and mom, because I’m sure they’ve got their hot takes locked and loaded.
In fact, LeBron dedicated not one, but TWO tweets toward the subject, which I believe is twice as many tweets as he dedicated to China.
First off, his ability to admit that he doesn’t play baseball settles the debate and makes him better than Jordan in my opinion. Second, I am glad he clarified that he is in sports.
Oh really? You’re in sports? Name 3 sports then!
Also, I love that he didn’t take the 3 seconds to Google the commissioner of MLB’s name, and instead just wrote; “Listen here baseball commissioner…”
Plus, he included the longest hashtag in the history of Twitter.
Who’s going to be the next person to speak out about this Astros cheating scandal? Here’s a list of potentials.
- Brad Stevenson?
- Gary Bettman?
- Will Smith?
- the youngest brother from Malcolm in the Middle?
- David Duchovny?
- Ben Higgins?
- Topher Grace?
- The drummer from Fall Out Boy?
- Nick Punto?
If you’re curious as to how the Astros made a really bad situation worse, we made a video including Jim Crane, Jose Altuve, Alex Bregman, Carlos Correa and MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. Enjoy.