Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Dolphins Head Coach Mike McDaniel Is Doing Too Much Too Soon And He Needs To Just Chill Out For A Sec, Ok?!

Check out Mike McDaniel’s head coaching resume:

Week 1: Beat Bill Belichick

Week 2: Pull off epic comeback win over former MVP and very talented running back Lamar Jackson

Week 3: Beat the Super Bowl LVII Champion Buffalo Bills

Dammit, would you just chill out for a second, Mike McDaniel?! The guy just started head coaching and he’s already checked off three of the toughest items on his to do list. I get that Mike McDaniel looks like a nerd, but this is like if he already applies AND got accepted to Harvard on his first day of high school. Don’t get me wrong. I like Mike McDaniel. He’s awkward, goofy, and appears to be making football in South Beach relevant for the first time since Zumbaz were in style unironically. I would never stuff him into a locker. Despite the fact that he has to be #1 on everyone’s power rankings of head coaches who look like they should be stuffed in a locker. But there is something to be said about him coming out and accomplishing all these feats right away. It gives off a lot of “remind the teacher that she didn’t collect the homework” vibes. Like a little showy this early in the game. Again, I want him to have success. I like him. But I don’t like the fact that he’s showing off their early into the game. They have the Bengals this weekend. This would be a good one for him to lose to prove that he’s not too much of a go-getter, ya know? Because if he beats the reigning AFC Champions in just his fourth game, to add to his already stellar resume, well… That’s it. I’ll have to jump off the McDaniel bandwagon. I won’t be able to do it. He’s like the perfect student who is all prepped and studied up for the SAT’s in the spring before homecoming in the fall. So Mike McDaniel, just take a shower and chill out so I can continue to like you.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.