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Friday, April 26, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Mighty Ducks 4: Life Off the Ice – Part II

To get filled in on our Mighty Ducks 4 plot, check out Mighty Ducks 4: Life Off The Ice – Part I.

So, now that we have our characters introduced, lets get started on that plot:

We open on the interior of a funeral home. The former teammates are back in Minnesota for Goldberg’s wake and funeral.

The mood is somber and nostalgic. Friends are catching each other up on the years that have passed. Everything is fine until suddenly, team Iceland shows up! The tensions are high at first, but things cool down as Charlie Conway takes command of his former teammates:

Charlie Conway: “Look guys, they’re just here to pay their respects. They’re our friends. They shook our hands.”

Team Iceland pays their respects, but nobody can understand them because they’re speaking in their native tongue (insert English subtitles). The team leaves and everybody continues reminiscing about the good ol’ days when they were young and not dead.

Then, out of no where, Coach Jack Reilly from the Hawks shows up! Again, the tensions are high at first, but Conway, being the natural leader he is, calms his team down:

Charlie Conway: “Look guys, he’s just here to pay his respects. He’s a friend. He taught coach Bombay how to play.”

Coach Jack Reilly from the Hawks pays his respects, but nobody can understand him because he’s speaking in Spanish because he’s been living in Argentina for the past 15 years (insert English subtitles). He leaves, and everybody continues talking about their childhood adventures.

Fulton gets up to say a few words when suddenly, former Bash Brother and lover Dean Portman shows up! At first, sexual tensions are high, but then Conway, being their captain once and forever, calms his former teammate down:

Charlie Conway: “Look man, he’s just here to pay his respects. He’s a friend. He did a strip-tease in the penalty box.”

Former Bash Brother and lover Dean Portman pays his respects, but nobody can understand him because he had his tongue bitten off five years ago during a street fight in Da Nang (insert English subtitles). He leaves, and everybody continues conversing with each other and telling stories of all the crazy stuff they did when they were innocent little kids.

The funeral is all but over when out of nowhere, Jesse Hall and Russ Tyler show up! No one’s heard from either of them since high school, and everyone waits in anticipation for them to say something. Suddenly, they both fall over, dead. Conway runs over to check their pulses and finds a note in Jesse’s hand. He opens it. It’s from Coach Bombay.

More soon…

Click here for Mighty Ducks 4: Life Off The Ice – Part III

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