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Friday, April 26, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Coolest 5-Year-Old Alive Drives Mom’s Car Onto Highway Looking To Buy A Lamborghini

Trooper Rick Morgan said the boy didn’t respond to his lights but pulled over when he hit his siren on Interstate 15 in Ogden on Monday.

“I approached the vehicle and I was expecting to find somebody who needed an ambulance or paramedics,” Morgan said.

But Morgan said when the window came down, it was pretty clear that it was “a very underaged driver who was behind the wheel.”

The boy was sitting on the edge of his seat to reach the brake pedal, Morgan said.

CBS Salt Lake City affiliate KUTV reports the boy, named Adrian, had managed to get the keys of his family’s Dodge Journey and drive it two miles through Ogden, Utah and onto Interstate 15 when Morgan spotted him.

Morgan said the boy told him he was going to his sister’s house — in California.

Officer taps on the glass. Window rolls down. Officer says, “Do you know why I pulled you over this evening?” Kid perks up, “Um, because I’m a 5-year-old who stole my mom’s car to drive to my sister’s house two states away in California?”

Pretty cool, kid, right? Yeah, he only gets cooler.

The boy told another trooper he wanted to buy a Lamborghini when he got there and then flashed open his wallet showing his cash to purchase his dream car: $3.

Bad. Ass. He’s like screw this janky-ass Dodge Journey. I want a freakin’ Lamborghini. I got 3 bucks. That should be enough.

I get it. My mom had a 1988 Volvo station wagon growing up. And we had that damn car for like 12 years. I wanted her to get a cooler car so bad. And every year when the Scholastic Book Fair came around, I’d just look at poster after poster of cars that were much, much cooler than ’88 Volvo station wagons. I honestly can’t blame the kid. Lamborghini > Dodge Journey.

So how does this kid bounce out of the house WITH A CAR without anyone noticing?

Adrian’s sister, Sidney Estrada, told KUTV she was watching the family’s children while their parents were at work. She says she fell asleep.

When she woke up, she realized Adrian may could be in danger.

“I saw that the truck was gone, and he was gone, and the keys were gone.  … I don’t know what went through his mind,” she told the station.

That must’ve been one hell of a nap. Honestly, part of me wants to hear more about that nap. I’m a big nap guy. I fight on the front lines of Team Nap. Don’t tell me about the dreams you have – I don’t care about those, but I will listen to the stories ALL DAY about your best naps ever. For Sidney to nap hard enough for her 5-year-old brother to leave the house and take a car with him, that had to be an under-the-covers type nap. Maybe even an under-the-covers, lights-out nap. Oh gosh. I’m getting chills just thinking about it.

Props to this kid, though. Most kids play Grand Theft Auto, he commits it. And not only did he lift his mom’s ride, but he drove it across town to the highway! I mean, it only begs the question: should we lower the legal driving age? It would probably be safer since 5-year-olds won’t be as easily distracted. Not like they’re going to text and drive. Plus, I know a handful of people who somehow drive worse than a 5-year-old.

The family says Adrian had never driven a car before and they don’t know how he managed to get the keys to the car, much less drive across town and get on the interstate.

The family says the incident is a good reminder to keep car keys out of the reach of children.

Yeah, that ain’t it. Parents literally hand their keys to toddlers to shake around and they don’t go stealing their parents rides. This is a YOU problem, not an EVERYONE problem. However, I don’t blame the parents. I don’t even blame the narcoleptic sister. I blame Georgia.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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