Clippers Find Cure For Insomnia With Introduction Of Their New Team Logo
LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Clippers unveiled a new team logo on Wednesday night, and scientists are already claiming it could be the cure to insomnia.
Clippers Owner Steve Ballmer unveiled the new team logos on Conan last night and the early reviews are in. They’re really really boring. Like put you to sleep boring. However, they might be able to provide a lot of good to many in need.
Employees at the National Sleep Foundation are calling it “a major breakthrough” in the world of insomnia.
“We have patients who have been dealing with insomnia for years, many of whom stay up late to watch Conan every night,” Sleep Research Scientist Gill Brayden said. “However, when they unveiled the new Clippers logos on the show last night, our patients fell asleep instantly.”
“The new logos are so boring, it’s causing many to fall asleep!” Chief Sleep Research Scientist Gregg Francis excited shouted. “I think we’ve done it! We’ve found a cure for insomnia! We just need to flash the Clippers’ new logo in front of them and it will bore them to sleep!”
The National Sleep Foundation has begun testing the new theory on patients and 100% of them have fallen into deep sleeps within seconds of seeing the new logo. However, a lot more testing must be conducted before it can be classified as a cure. Until then, scientists at the National Sleep Foundation claim they will continue to use their old method to help insomniac patients fall asleep, and that is to just make them watch a Lakers game.