Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

cBCS Week 9

Austin is back from Austin and is once again behind the reigns of the Top Ten this week. Sorry I had to leave you all in the hands of the baby sitter. I hope we didn’t lose too many readers in one week.
cBCS Top 10


This Week: vs. Penn State
Reason: Ohio State fans should not worry too much about this week’s home match up against Penn State. Ohio State only chokes in national spotlight games against non-conference opponents. COUGH, USC, COUGH, LSU, COUGH, FLORIDA, COUGH. Sorry, I just Ohio Stated… I mean, choked.

This Week: @ LSU
Reason: Why was Geogria so hyped up before their game against Alabama and then forgotten about after. Sure it was an ugly loss, but that’s their only blemish on their schedule thus far. Don’t worry, Bulldogs. We got your back!

8. USC (*)
This Week: @ Arizona
Reason: Isn’t it about time for another USC upset? They are usually good for about two each season. But on a serious note, it would be absolutely pathetic if USC doesn’t go through the rest of the Pac 10 undefeated.

This Week: @ Kansas
Reason: Is Texas Tech as good as everyone makes them out to be? Well, they haven’t slipped up yet. So as of right now, yes. Pretty soon their defense and lack of a run game will come back to HAUNT them. (You like the play on words with Halloween coming up?)

This Week: @ Texas
Reason: Note to Oklahoma State fans: Take it from me, if you plan on making the trip down to Austin, like I did last weekend, be prepared for a bunch of (for a lack of a better term) douche fans.

This Week: vs. Kentucky
Reason: This is one of those SEC games where you’ll fall asleep while watching it.

This Week: @ Kansas State
Reason: This is one of those Big 12 games where you’ll fall asleep while watching it.

3. ALABAMA (*)
This Week: @ Tennessee
Reason: Alabama dominates in the national games they play in (i.e. Clemson, Georgia). Alabama does not dominate in all of their other games (i.e. Kentucky, Ole Miss). This would make Tennessee’s season to upset the Crimson Tide in Knoxville. Be careful, Bama.

This Week: @ Ohio State
Reason: Penn State beat Michigan for the first time since 1996. They haven’t gone undefeated since 1994. They haven’t won a National Championship since 1986. And they haven’t won in Columbus since 1978. For any of these other feats to be accomplished this year they must win in Columbus this weekend. Then it should be smooth sailing for the Nittany Lions.

1. . TEXAS (*)
This Week: vs. Oklahoma State
Reason: Colt McCoy’s performance this season can be summed up in three words: Re, Dic, and Ulous! The guy puts up better numbers in games then other quarterbacks do in practice. Heck, he puts up better numbers than Zach does in video games. Then again, who doesn’t?

(*) – On Upset Alert

• • •

Other Week 9 Notes
From A to Z:
  • Why the heck is USC so high on everyone’s polls? (Including ours.) Has everyone forgotten their loss to Oregon State?

  • If you were to take a look at Joe Paterno’s career, you would think he were getting older. But if you were to take a look at his life, you would see how much of a stereotypical old man he is. The man broke his hip two weeks ago.

  • Looks like asking Tommy Bowden to step down really turned Clemson‘s season around for the better. They fell under .500 last week by losing to unranked Georgia Tech, 21-17. Tommy was probably able to sleep a little better after knowing that.
  • The defending Orange Bowl Champion Kansas Jayhawks seem to be having a little more trouble this year then they did last year. It’s funny what a difference a year makes. Playing the top Big 12 South teams as opposed to Baylor, Highland Park High School (Topeka, KS), The Little Giants, and Brandon Woods Retirement Home’s Intramural Squad can really make a difference in a team’s record and season outcome.

  • It’s a good thing BYU was knocked out of our top ten, because we were running out of Mormon football jokes.
• • •

Corked Bats

Week 6

Underdog Picks

The records are back to even after Austin’s pick failed him by one touchdown in a close game to give Austin his first wrong choice of the season. Zach made a great pick with TCU dominating BYU.
(Rankings are AP.)

Zach (3-1)
Louisville over #14 South Florida

Austin (3-1)
Tennessee over #2 Alabama
• • •


1. Colt McCoy – Quarterback – Texas
Reason: 81% Completion Percentage – The dude is so cold, chicken soup won’t help!

2. Sam Bradford – Quarterback – Oklahoma
Reason: Even in their loss to Texas, he still threw 5 touchdowns.3. Javon Ringer – Running Back – Michigan State
Reason: Ole Javon already has close to 1,200 yards on the season. Has anyone even noticed?4. Daryll Clark – Quarterback – Penn State
Reason: 152.73 Passer Rating and he is the biggest reason why Penn State is undefeated thus far…
5. Chase Daniel – Quarterback – Missouri
Reason: Let’s not forget about Mr. Daniel. In their two ugly losses, Chase has thrown for over 700 yards and 75% completion rate.
Other Notables:

  • David Johnson – QB – Tulsa: 2300 yards passing, 31 TD’s passing, and a 212 passer rating
  • Graham Harrell – QB – Texas Tech: Has yet to slip up yet while throwing for 2700 yards so far.
  • Jeremy Maclin – WR/KR – Missouri: The kid is the explosive spark Missouri needs to get back in the Big 12 North hunt.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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