Can We Talk About Cam Newton’s Fez?
It’s no state secret that the New England Patriots haven’t looked their best this year. I mean, a 4-5 record has them IN THE HUNT, but seeing the Patriots under .500 is like seeing your grandma without her dentures in. Like yeah you’ve always wondered what it would look like and now that you’ve seen it, it feels weird.
But speaking of Patriots not looking their best, I feel like we need to take a minute to talk about Cam Newton’s fez.
Now look, I know the train for making a big deal out of Cam Newton’s postgame outfit has left the station a few years ago. It’s kinda lame to still be up in arms about what he chooses to wear during postgame press conferences. We’ve all come to terms that he’s going to wear something ridiculous and we’ve subconsciously agreed to just move on. And trust me, I respect that. I’m glad us have a society have collectively stopped making a big deal out of his outfits.
But this was all before he chose to wear a fez.
A FEZ!
What’s a fez? Glad you hypothetically asked.
The Fez, also called a Tarboosh, is a felt headdress in the shape of a short cylindrical peakless hat, usually red, and sometimes with a tassel attached to the top. The name “Fez” refers to the Moroccan city of Fez, where the dye to colour the hat was extracted from crimson berries.
via Google
How ’bout that? Didn’t think you’d learn something by clicking on this Korked Bats blog, did you?
Now look, should I be surprised to see Cam Newton in a fez? No. He could literally wear human skin over his head like Leatherface in Texas Chainsaw Massacre and I shouldn’t be surprised. But this is a FEZ!
Like why did he choose to wear this thing? Was this week’s game played in New England or New Delhi?! Did Cam have to capture Indiana Jones immediately after the game?
He’s lucky the Patriots actually won this week, because imagine the backlash if he had walked to the podium in that Aladdin hat after a loss.
Now look, I’m not looking to go all Jeff Garcia and criticize him for his fashion choices. For a couple reasons:
- I’ve been wearing the same gray t-shirt for the last 3 days straight.
- I wore a puka shell necklace up until about 2006.
- and for those wondering, yes, that’s wayyyy too late in the game to wear a puka shell necklace
- Despite my own poor fashion choices, I know full-well that the first rule of fashion is to OWN IT.
But the second rule of fashion should be: don’t try to seriously wear a fez in public.
I honestly feel like this guy is just messing with us now. He probably has brainstorming sessions with his stylist to see how ridiculous he can get. It’s like he’s living out a children’s book that teaches kids about different types of hats. He’s already worn:
- a top hat
- a bucket hat
- a leprechaun hat
- like 15 different types of wide brim hats
- a scarf wrapped around his head like Thelma & Louise
- Pharrell’s really big Arby’s looking hat
- the hat from the emcee of the Nathon’s hot dog eating contest…
The only thing he’s missing is a fireman’s helmet, one of those oversized foam cowboy hats, and one of those hats from the movie Fargo.
Last thing… how has the angry cultural appropriation crowd not grabbed their pitch forks and marched up the hill to Cam Newton’s house for wearing this fez? Personally, I’m not a fan of the term cultural appropriation. Probably because I’m a white guy and white people have very little cool things about their culture, but I don’t understand why people wouldn’t want the cool things from their culture spread to other cultures. Last I checked, imitation was the sincerest form of flattery, and at it’s root, that’s all cultural appropriation is. Unless you’re mocking or ridiculing, then I get it. Anyway, I’m starting to talk myself in circles here. I kinda hope that take doesn’t get me canceled. I’m just wondering how Cam hasn’t been “canceled” yet. Not that I’m trying to get him canceled. I’m just wondering: are fez’s fair game? Can anyone wear them now?! I’m not going to go out and start rocking a fez to the grocery store or anything, but I feel like that should be public information, if so.
