Saturday, July 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Calling All Intermural Bros, The Olympics Are Adding Flag Football

Calling all Tanner’s, Ethan’s, Brett’s, and Connor’s who played on their Sigma Delta Epsilon’s intermural team. Today is your day.

Time to start training again, because the Olympics are adding the only thing (aside from drinking) you’ve ever been good at… flag football.

Dust off those Nike Vapor 3’s, grab those unnecessary sweatbands, and don’t forget the gloves you got hooked up with from your buddy who works for your school’s football equipment department, because you can now compete for your country the same way you competed for your frat. Now look, did I read this news and immediately believe I’ve finally found an Olympic sport I’d be able to medal in? You bet your semi-deflated and overly-tackified Wilson football I did. I haven’t played flag football in probably 4 or 5 years and yet, here I am with an unwarranted confidence that I would Michael Phelps this sport. Flag football was my jam back in the day (emphasis on back, which I have thrown out twice in the last two years). Not to be that guy who peaked in high school and still rocks his letterman jacket, but one semester in college, I led Mizzou in defensive interceptions. In fact, here’s me dusting some dude for a tuddy:

Not to brag.

And here’s me returning a punt for a big gain. Ball security, schmall schmecurity is what I always say. (Mainly because if you fumble in flag, the ball is dead anyway.)

You want some more pics?

Look, did I write this blog solely to brag about my flag football playing ability? No. Ok, yes. But is it incredibly douchey to share pics of yourself playing flag football? Also yes. But you have to have a little douchiness in you to play flag. It’s a rule. Right up there with flag guarding. I’m just excited for this Olympic sport. Mainly because it’s another guaranteed gold for the US of A. And because, if I start training now…. ya never know?

Ok, we do know. But still. A guy can dream.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.