Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

BASEBALL IS BACK! (With No Thanks To Baseball)

On the 99th day of the MLB Lockout, MLB owners and their Madonna-mouthed commissioner finally agreed to slide their wrinkly, blue-haired heads out of their asses and bring back the sport that only further grows their billion-dollar bank accounts. We are back. We may have had to sacrifice Jeff Passan to the NFT gods, but at least we got baseball back.

Will the sport look different? Sure. Universal DH, bigger bases (maybe?), pitch clocks, Freddie Freeman in a Dodgers uniform? Who knows what will be changed, and frankly, I’m too giddy to look it up right now. But if you’re pissed about any of those, just count your blessings. I’d much rather have a different baseball than no baseball. Pick your battles, people. Unlike the MLB owners did for 99 days.

Also, don’t let baseball owners or their Mad Magazine commissioner try and take any credit for getting this done. Like a baseball season, this took forever and they only started caring toward the end. 99 days. One day shy of triple-digits. All to come to terms on a deal they didn’t start negotiating until two weeks ago. Maybe they were too busy watching the NFL playoffs? (Can’t blame them there.) And technically, they didn’t even have to lock the players out to begin with. But they did, and created the offseason from hell. I hope the next time Rob Manfred shows his face in public he gets boo’d into oblivion (which I’m pretty sure is an Eve6 lyric, right?). Anyway, I’m stoked baseball is back. I was scared we weren’t going to get any this year. Or at best starting in June. But nope, it’s back. And I have a boner.

Anyway, here’s wonderwall.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.