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Awful Knife-Throwing Magician Nearly Kills Assistant [VIDEO]

In a Lithuanian version of America’s Got Talent, a magician decided to show off his knife-throwing skills. And by skills I mean, OH GAHH! SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE, RIGHT NOW!

Here are a few thoughts:

  • What the heck did that assistant do to piss off his boss, the magician?
  • Maybe the “trick” in all of this is that absolutely nothing goes right? Pretty impressive.
  • The assistant looks like a character from Dazed and Confused. It just so happens that this knife-throwing magician HATES Dazed and Confused.
  • “I’m not a knife-thrower. I just play one on Lithuanian TV.”
  • Remind me to set my DVR to record the next episode of Lithuania Doesn’t Got Talent.
  • Everyone tried to tell Eddie there was another, much safer way to cut the deck, but he wouldn’t listen.
  • The absolute safest person in that entire theater? That green melon.
  • After the first round of throws: “He’s still alive? Alright, let’s light these knives on fire.”
  • By the end, people aren’t clapping after every trick because it was good. They’re clapping because the assistant is still alive.
  • What’s the point of having the assistant even standing there? Pretty sure the audience would’ve just been impressed if this guy could just hit that huge wooden wall.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

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