Awful Knife-Throwing Magician Nearly Kills Assistant [VIDEO]

In a Lithuanian version of America’s Got Talent, a magician decided to show off his knife-throwing skills. And by skills I mean, OH GAHH! SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE, RIGHT NOW!

Here are a few thoughts:

  • What the heck did that assistant do to piss off his boss, the magician?
  • Maybe the “trick” in all of this is that absolutely nothing goes right? Pretty impressive.
  • The assistant looks like a character from Dazed and Confused. It just so happens that this knife-throwing magician HATES Dazed and Confused.
  • “I’m not a knife-thrower. I just play one on Lithuanian TV. العاب على الهاتف
  • Remind me to set my DVR to record the next episode of Lithuania Doesn’t Got Talent.
  • Everyone tried to tell Eddie there was another, much safer way to cut the deck, but he wouldn’t listen.
  • The absolute safest person in that entire theater? لعبة قمار للايفون That green melon.
  • After the first round of throws: “He’s still alive? Alright, let’s light these knives on fire.”
  • By the end, people aren’t clapping after every trick because it was good. They’re clapping because the assistant is still alive.
  • What’s the point of having the assistant even standing there? Pretty sure the audience would’ve just been impressed if this guy could just hit that huge wooden wall. لعب لربح المال

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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