Alternate Uniforms Are Pretty Cool, Until The 76ers Try And Do It Apparently
We all know why teams create alternate jerseys. No matter what crap reason they give, it’s all about having more merchandise to sell to help boost the franchise’s bottom line. There’s no shame in teams wanting to make more money, especially with the uncertainty that the last year has brought.
A lot of times, it’s a blessing when a team brings out a cool look. For example, everyone loves the Miami Heat’s blue and pink Vice jerseys, and the Nuggets have an epic jersey with the Denver skyline in front of the Rockies and rainbow stripes.
However, sometimes the alternate jerseys go astray. A few days ago, the Sixers unveiled a new jersey that tries to do wayyyy too much. Let’s take a look before we go into it.
For those who don’t live in Philadelphia, the jersey depicts Boathouse Row which are boathouses located between Kelly Drive and the Schuylkill River where most crew events (rowing for the layman) take place. If you’re familiar with my take on jerseys, you can’t really go wrong with black, but this is a rare exception. Yes, Boathouse Row is a cool feature of the city of Philadelphia, but it already belongs to another sport… It’d be like if the Celtics released a jersey that featured the Green Monster.
Furthermore, it turns out that the only reason these jerseys were made is because of the persistence of Ben Simmons.
“It was really cool to be a part of that, and definitely something I’d do again. This was eye-opening, seeing how long the process really is.”
Ben Simmons
This would be all great and dandy if Ben Simmons had a f**king jump shot! In his career with the Sixers, it appears he’s spent more time developing a “cool” jersey than developing a cool jumper. Don’t want to speak for the city of Philadelphia, but pretty sure we’d rather see him get over his fears of taking a shot outside of the paint. I have been a huge Simmons defender for the 4 years he’s been in the city, but this is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Philly is a tough city to play in, but not if you do everything you can to win and dedicate all of your time to perfecting your trade.
Ben, I don’t really give a crap if you learned a lot about the process of the making a jersey because that is not your job. Last time I checked, you didn’t go to LSU for a year to pursue a career in graphic design. Focus on your craft, or get out of here. Honestly, now the Sixers have Darryl Morey as a president, I hope he orchestrates a trade where we give up Simmons to get James Harden, a man who focuses so much on basketball that he doesn’t even have time to shave. That’s commitment.
One more thing about the jerseys, they hid “TTP” an acronym for Trust the Process in the Boathouse design which is just over the top, and not clever at all. After a season that ended with a sweep to our arch-rivals, I don’t need any headlines regarding Simmons that aren’t related to him shooting the ball. Total fail all around.
