A Mysterious Metal Monolith Was Found Deep In The Desert & It’s No Big Deal, But We’re Probably All Gonna Die
Watch that video and try and give me an explanation as to what the hell that thing is? For those of you who are too lazy to click play on the video, here are some photos…
$5 to whomever comes closest. The only reason I’m offering up my hard-earned money is because I know no one has a clue.
The only guesses I have as to what it is…
A piece of that walking robot thing from Interstellar?
An ATM?
Look, people could be strapped for cash in the middle of the desert. You never know.
An odder shaped Teseract?
It is Utah, so are we sure this isn’t something weird left for the next Joesph Smith to discover? Maybe the start of a new religion?
The easy joke/reference here is that we the humans have essentially become the monkeys from Stanley Kubrick’s iconic 2001: A Space Odyssey.
When you first saw this movie, it was like, “Lol! Look at how dumb those apes look! They’re freaking out over a weird tall metallic box randomly placed in the middle of the desert. What idiots!” Now WE’RE those dumb apes, freaking out over a weird tall metallic box randomly placed in the middle of the desert.
I just love how the weirdest things are happening this year, like the guy from Blink-182 getting the Pentagon to admit that UFO’s actually do exist, and we just write it off as “meh” because of how weird this year has been. Oh there’s an inexplicable weird metallic orb found in the desert? So what? Harry Styles wore a dress! I mean, why freak out about literal news of scientists discovering parallel dimensions when we focus on Tiger King or Queen’s Gambit! Also, no spoilers, I haven’t started QG yet. I’ve been locked in on a Hulu show called A Teacher starring Kate Mara (Zoey Barnes from House of Cards), and it’s all about a teacher having a relationship with her student. It’s wild. But a good show. I also just finished up Dave. For some reason I was watching it live every week but missed the last few episodes, but you wanna talk about a great show? It’s like Atlanta but for awkward white people. Oh, and I’ve also been binging Selling Sunset on Netflix. Not bad. Not bad at all. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the weird metallic orb that suddenly appeared in the middle of the desert in Utah. WTF?! Enjoy your last few days or months on this earth. Only a matter of time before something emerges out of that orb to kill us all.
