A Whole New World

May 27, 2010 Chip

Good morning, KB Faithful. Sorry for my leave of absence that I am sure none of you noticed, but I have spent the past week in Illinois: The Sunshine State. Besides watching the Lakers/Suns series (excellent by the way), I have kind of been out of the loop in the whole sports world until yesterday afternoon. Apparently fútbol is now a sport in the US, the NFL wants to expand to an 18 game season, and some Asian guy named “Lang Lee” writes for us. This whole change thing is starting to get out of hand, Obama.

Well, it is obvious that the times are changing and there is not a thing I can do about it. So in honor of this progressive movement in the world, it would only be appropriate for give my random predictions for the FUTURE OF SPORTS.

(hey)

The Future of Basketball

Point Guards will become the focal point for the majority of successful teams
Due to the large amount of support in Asia, Gumby- haired high schoolers will play a year in China before the pros instead of Europe
“The Akron Hammer” will become “The Brooklyn Screwdriver” (Trademark Pending)
John Wall gets drafted by Wizards and meets Obama… he breaks his leg the next day
The NCAA Tournament expands to 347 team just so nobody feels left out

(hey)

The Future of Baseball

Bud Selig loses a bet causing Pete Rose to join the Hall of Fame
The MLB stops testing for performance enhancers, because guys are doing them just to look cool
The New York Yankees acquire the Kansas City Royals as their farm team
Stephen Strasburg finally throws in the pros… but he plays for the Nationals so he still gets the loss

(hey)

The Future of Hockey

Barry Melrose cutting his mullet gets more attention than the Stanley Cup Finals
The Nashville Predators, Atlanta Thrashers, and Florida Panthers move their franchises… No one notices
A bunch of Canadians will get in a bunch of fights

(hey)

The Future of Football

(Please tell me I’m not the only person that has played this game before)

The NCAA expands to a 14-game season, yet they still will not discuss a playoff system
An African-American QB finally wins a SuperBowl
An SEC team finally loses in the National Championship Game… to another SEC Team
Brett Favre finally retires from the game, but thanks to cloning, Brett Favre 2.0 is able to play for the next 20 seasons

(hey)

The Future of Everything Else

Hopefully nothing to do with this:

(hey)