Monday, April 14, 2025

Uranius Johnson And Other Ridiculous College Football Names

September 28, 2010 Austin

Funny names sure are great. Especially when they’re not yours. The question just always arises, “What were his/her parents thinking?” What’s even best is when famous collegiate athletes have ridiculously funny names. Courtesy of UnathleticMag.com who they apparently got from ManOFest.com, (isn’t the internet great?!) a list of the greatest college names has been assembled. Join us now as we laugh at the expense of other people’s birth certificates.

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Click on the image to see it’s full size:

His parents really had a love for Macaulay Culkin movies.

If the Planters Nuts mascot, Mr. Peanut, ever got a zit, it would probably have the same name.

Which would be a better nickname for him, O.J. or Homer?

Flower from Bambi, Little John from Robin Hood… This guy is just a walking Disney cartoon.

This is either the coolest defensive football name or the gayest.

I’m sure Jordan is a fun guy to play with.

For some reason, Jeff is really determined to go to a bowl game.

Do fans of this guy’s team cheer for Cockburn?

The only thing worse than having a name like this would be having the name, “Unfair Hooker.” Just ask any politician.

There are so many insensitive jokes for this name…

We really need to hook him up with Judy Fabreeze.

I would say this guy probably has an “Entourage’… but then I looked at his face.

Either this kid is royalty or he likes to smoke a lot. (Or at very least his parents, for naming him Yourhighness)

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.