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It would really suck to be Birdman right about now.

No, not because he looks like a buffoon, but because of this:

If you aren’t up to snuff on urban hip hop twitter lingo, what Mr. Man was trying to say (in this tweet composed prior to the conclusion of the NBA Finals) is that he placed a $2,000,000.00 wager on the NBA Finals in favor of the Miami Heat. He was planning to purchase himself a brand new whip (or car) to add to his ever growing collection of whips (cars) with the dividends such an investment would yield. He also reiterated to the public that he is the business and on one mula krazy.

Sorry I couldn’t completely translate that last part into proper English.

The Heat lost.

Todd Coffey probably isn’t a proponent of throwback jerseys.

There has GOT to be a couch cushion and two hand towels in that thing. And the pants, what’s going on there? Is he preparing for a flood? Honestly, if he didn’t have a beard he could easily be mistaken for a large, hideous woman with breasts and Capri pants. Well, actually, I guess he still could be. Let’s hope the Nationals don’t decide to bring this look back any time soon.

Somehow a story about Leonard Pope saving a child’s life is humorous.

So, this weekend Kansas City Chiefs TE Leonard Pope saved a child’s life who had fallen into a pool and was drowning. Yadda, yadda, yadda, great story, but not for Korked Bats. Well, that was until the mother of the child spoke to the Americus Times-Recorder:

“Leonard was inside, and he came out of nowhere and dove into the water without any hesitation, cell phone in his pocket and all.”

Wow, just wow. It’s selfless acts such as sacrificing a $100 cell phone to save the life of a human being that really show the selfless nature of humanity. Come on mother of child, did you really just mention the cell phone in pocket issue in your first sentence describing the event?

Then came this comment from the newspaper:

Pope was the only person at the pool party that knew how to swim.

It’s not a stereotype if it’s true.

Welp, these guys were wrong.

The above ad recently resurfaced from a 1997 Washington Post newspaper. If I’m not mistaking, he did indeed pick up some chicks in his green jacket, probably laid them on a par 5, and blamed his caddie for getting caught.

I wish bad things upon whoever invented this.

The commercial pretty much speaks for itself. I’m sure those people who were on the fence about whether or not to purchase one of these were convinced when the lady told us to make our dinner a wiener.

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