According to reports from ESPN, the team held meetings and had a meal together in a private area of the airport with restricted access. However, the majority of their delay was spent on the tarmac, and this is where I sent my inside man to get the real scoop.

First he set out to find the newest member of the Bucs, Antonio Clown. It didn’t take long though, as he was seen being lead out of the air traffic control station in handcuffs. Apparently he took over operations and got into a fight with one of his other personalities, ultimately causing two private jets to collide. His status for this afternoon’s game remains in question.

I’d like to think this wouldn’t have happened if Tom were watching him. Where was Tom when all of this was going down? After scouring the grounds for about an hour, my source was able to track down The Goat, finding him in one of the hangers. What was he doing, you ask? You guessed it… he built a fort with Gronk and they started training to become professional wrestlers after this season is over.

No surprises here.

Where is the captain of the ship during all of this? Where is Bruce Almighty Arians?

My guy started out looking around the airport shops, as it was a safe bet that Bruce was in the market for another one of those dumb ass hats (see above). Unfortunately, those can’t be found in your regular Hudson News, so he was no where to be found. Same result for the bars, restaurants, bathrooms, customer service, baggage claim, etc. Bruce was officially a missing person. My source returned to the tarmac to gather what ever final pieces of information he could, but what he found when he got there you will not believe.

The authorities had returned to the scene, only this time they were there for the last person you’d expect to see being put into the back of a patrol car. Turns out the FBI and TSA cooperated to bust Arians for intentionally damaging the planes controls, leading to the mechanical error that caused the delay. When asked why, Bruce replied, “It was a test. I wanted to see how my team would respond in the face of adversity.”

Good job, moron. That’s a felony. So now the Bucs need a new head coach, a new WR, and should be concerned that their star quarterback and tight end have much bigger plans on their minds.

Moral of the story– HAMMER the Panthers (+5.5).

The post What Did The Bucs Do During Their Six Hour Flight Delay? We Have Sources appeared first on Korked Bats.

If that isn’t enough to make you think he’s already packing his bags, this news broke this morning…

Maybe it’s just because this is the first time in my life as a football fan that the Pats are sellers at the deadline, but I found myself asking why. Why now? Bill has never been one to just give up like that. His defense is his baby, and he’s just willing to throw away his best player because they’re 2-4? Hey Bill, the Eagles are in first place and have just as many wins as you guys…

No, I don’t think so.

The greatest coach in the history of sports is not a quitter, and certainly not a tanker. Bill has too much pride and knows that no matter how hard he tries to lose, the Jets will lose more. Not to mention, the recent news that Trevor Lawrence (the highly coveted #1 pick) might stay at Clemson another year (to avoid playing for the Jets, hahahahahaha!). With all that said, there are too many unknowns for Bill to just give away Stephon like that — there has to be another reason.

I locked myself in my room and dug deep into my resources. I searched every article on the internet to see which teams have interest in the reigning Defensive Player of the Year, hoping to connect some dots. Still nothing. I even cut the sleeves off of my hoodie and ordered a $5 Foot-Long to channel my inner Belichick in the hopes of having a revelation.

I was moments away from calling it quits and just crying myself to sleep instead, but then my phone went off. I wiped the tears from the screen to see that it was a text from my inside source and HOLY S**T I think I just exploded…

After the initial shock wore off, I thought about it a bit more and things started to make sense. This is the perfect time for AB to join the Bucs (the perfect sacrifice). Arians (aka Bill and Tom controlling the media) has recently been making hard-ass comments in regards to Brown, speaking of having a zero tolerance policy when it comes to special treatment. He even made similar comments earlier in the season about The GOAT, calling Tom out in front of the media (how convenient). Both instances have not painted the rosiest picture of Bruce and has put the fans’ perception of him into question — another seed planted by the master puppeteers.

Now that I think about it, I’m beginning to wonder if Arians is even a real person. Has this been a robot controlled by Belichick and Tom the entire time? Is Gronk even real???

Sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself.

I can keep asking myself a million different questions, but at this point this is just rumor and speculation — none of this has occurred yet. I suppose now we just have to wait and see if Gilmore is traded, and then maybe the dominoes will begin to fall.

To be continued…

The post We Took A Deeper Look Into The Stephon Gilmore Trade Rumors And YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT WE FOUND! appeared first on Korked Bats.

Disclaimer: Given his background, there’s definitely not just iced coffee in Gronk’s cup.

The post Rob Gronkowski, David Ortiz Team Up For The Song of the Summer [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

TAMPA BAY — Former Cleveland Browns backup quarterback Brandon Weeden boarded a plane and spent all of last weekend partying in Tampa Bay, Florida with a bunch of other people his age.

CSPAN, not TMZ, obtained footage of Weeden and about eight notable retired U.S. Senators partying it up in an assisted living home in the Tampa area. A few eye witnesses claim Weeden and friends were out on some nights as late as 6:15pm.

Weeden was seen playing multiple games of shuffleboard and bingo, dancing the jitterbug with women, snorting chopped up Cialis pills, falling asleep while watching Wheel of Fortune, and making really slow turns without using his turn signal. Other reports claimed Weeden and some of his buddies pressed their Life Alert buttons, even though they hadn’t fallen and needed help getting up.

The over-the-hill quarterback was criticized for spending more time by the pool at parties than studying his new team’s playbook. Weeden then silenced critics via social media by posting “The Cowboys’ team playbook is two pages long. I totally memorized it on my flight out here, h8ers!” on his personal MySpace page. He then later posted, “What happened to the saying ‘What Happens In Tampa Stays In Tampa Because The People Here Don’t Know How To Use Modern Technology’?”

Many NFL analysts also voiced their concern about Weeden’s party-lifestyle, claiming it’s a distraction for himself and his teammates.

“It’s a little unsettling, to be honest,” ESPN NFL Analyst Merril Hoge said. “He should be with his team, working on becoming first string. I mean, he’s behind Tony Romo on the depth chart. If he just gave the least bit of effort, the starting job would be his.”

Many were surprised to see Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski was in attendance too. “Hey, when there’s a party, you know I’m gonna be there!” Gronkowski shouted before chugging an Ensure and smashing the can on his forehead.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Brandon Weeden Criticized For Non-Stop Partying On Weekend Trip To Tampa appeared first on Korked Bats.

Now this is a seemingly handsome man. Clean shaven. Employed. Fairly symmetrical face with a smile that looks like it has been put through a round or two of braces.

Born on May 14th, 1989.

He is on Twitter.  His trending hashtag is #getkronkd

I haven’t decided if #getkronkd is endearing because of his baby face or if I should worry about his spelling and his need to fit in with the rap artist population.

He has played on the hit NBC hit show, The Office. Don’t believe me? You don’t remember seeing him picking on Dwight and getting nicknames like ‘Big Tuna?’

Still don’t believe me click here.

See.

He played at the University of Arizona. So, not in the SEC. Sorry, southern belles. He probably makes you open your own door before that fancy steak dinner he can afford to take you to.

He does really like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So if you can make a good one, you could have a chance.

He has two other brothers that also play professional football.  Dan and Chris. Sorry Dan and Chris, that you are not as good looking as your brother. Is that why you put pictures like this on the internet?

I completely understand. If I had a sister that was better looking than me and better at being an athlete and was more successful, I would put her on blast so fast (Put her on blast is a Jersey Shore term) (But I’m not exactly sure what the definition actually is).

One thing we can be sure of, is that on Gronkowski family vacation, you will be playing football in the backyard with an entire fleet of real deal football players. So if you want into that family, you had better be really cute or really good at football.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

The post Player of the Week? Gronkowski? appeared first on Korked Bats.

QB: Aaron Rodgers – Green Bay Packers – @aaronrodgers12
Ok, so this player is also very good at football. But he makes our fantasy twitter team due to his two-tweet tandem of

“If u don’t have a sense of humor, or if u take urself too seriously, you probably shouldn’t follow me. I quote jack handy, heavyweights…” “…the princess bride, etc. Please dont try n give me lessons on politics, I’m not impressed.” Hundreds of people tweeted the SECOND HALF of his sentence. Nuff said.

RB1: Chris Johnson – Tennessee Titans – @ChrisJohnson28
Chris Johnson is more entertaining on twitter than he is on the field. That being said, he is also harder to figure out when online. Enjoy the following… stuff:

“What da lick read”
“I think I want twins”
“Who up”
and my favorite recent tweet that makes no sense: “Now make me take this polo off”

RB2: Ryan Grant – Green Bay Packers – @RyanGrant25
He’s hilarious, interacts with fans and keeps up with pop culture.

“I’m so mad that I had to find out that Tom Cruise won the lead role over me by seeing the M I-4 trailer.. They could have told me lol”

WR1: Chad Ochocinco – New England Patriots – @Ochocinco
The athlete who coined the idea of athletes on twitter, and recently voted the second most valuable twitter user on the PLANET (behind Rainn Wilson of The Office). Chad interacts and entertains. It is impossible to pick out one of his tweets to list. Recently he tweeted about wanting to fight Vincent Wilfork and Albert Haynesworth, who combined would be 9x Chad’s weight.

WR2: Stev(i)e Johnson – Buffalo Bills – @StevieJohnson13
You’ve got to hand it to a guy who switches his name from Steve to Stevie midway through his twenties. Follow Bills breakout receiver Stevie J on twitter so he will potentially stop blaming God for his dropped passes.

TE: Rob Gronkowski – New England Patriots – @RobGronkowski
One of the guys that Tom Brady makes look like an All-Pro is a hilarious follow. He tweets about partying in Arizona and spanking celebrities on their birthday. العاب اون لاين

“Hey @KateUpton Happy Birthday!! Can I give you a B day spanky?”

K: Josh Scobee- Jacksonville Jaguars – @JoshScobee10
On the list because he is a professional football player and has a profile picture of himself golfing. Even HE knows how lame kickers look with their silly uni-facemasks.

D/ST: Chris Kluwe, Punter – Minnesota Vikings – @ChrisWarcraft
I know a punter wouldn’t score me any points in a regular fantasy football league (yet), but Chris Kluwe challenges for funniest athlete on twitter. Well, at least when he’s not posting about World of Warcraft. A punter who plays World of Warcraft. It all makes so much sense.

“Time to play Deus Ex and pass out on my couch. Hooray!”

The post Fantasy Football All-Twitter Team appeared first on Korked Bats.