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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Player of the Week? Gronkowski?

Turns out there is this a vicious rumor that girls want to date and/or do other things to/with the Patriots tight end, Rob Gronkowski. If you haven’t had the pleasure, let me introduce you to the man in question.

Now this is a seemingly handsome man. Clean shaven. Employed. Fairly symmetrical face with a smile that looks like it has been put through a round or two of braces.

Born on May 14th, 1989.

He is on Twitter.  His trending hashtag is #getkronkd

I haven’t decided if #getkronkd is endearing because of his baby face or if I should worry about his spelling and his need to fit in with the rap artist population.

He has played on the hit NBC hit show, The Office. Don’t believe me? You don’t remember seeing him picking on Dwight and getting nicknames like ‘Big Tuna?’

Still don’t believe me click here.

See.

He played at the University of Arizona. So, not in the SEC. Sorry, southern belles. He probably makes you open your own door before that fancy steak dinner he can afford to take you to.

He does really like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So if you can make a good one, you could have a chance.

He has two other brothers that also play professional football.  Dan and Chris. Sorry Dan and Chris, that you are not as good looking as your brother. Is that why you put pictures like this on the internet?

I completely understand. If I had a sister that was better looking than me and better at being an athlete and was more successful, I would put her on blast so fast (Put her on blast is a Jersey Shore term) (But I’m not exactly sure what the definition actually is).

One thing we can be sure of, is that on Gronkowski family vacation, you will be playing football in the backyard with an entire fleet of real deal football players. So if you want into that family, you had better be really cute or really good at football.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

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