Fantasy Football All-Twitter Team

The world as we know it has been taken over by two things not named Kardashian: fantasy football and twitter. العب وربح In an effort to streamline your day, I am combining these two internet phenomenons into one place: The Ultimate Fantasy Football Twitter Team. I’ll put together a team with a player (or two) from each position, coming from teams all over the league. But instead of basing my choices off statistics and reason, I’ll base it off my willingness to enjoy their twitter feed. Let’s get started at the top. And these are based off RECENT twitter activity. Gotta keep it up to date, homie!

QB: Aaron Rodgers – Green Bay Packers – @aaronrodgers12
Ok, so this player is also very good at football. But he makes our fantasy twitter team due to his two-tweet tandem of

“If u don’t have a sense of humor, or if u take urself too seriously, you probably shouldn’t follow me. I quote jack handy, heavyweights…” “…the princess bride, etc. Please dont try n give me lessons on politics, I’m not impressed.” Hundreds of people tweeted the SECOND HALF of his sentence. Nuff said.

This picture is the most sense Chris Johnson will ever make.

RB1: Chris Johnson – Tennessee Titans – @ChrisJohnson28
Chris Johnson is more entertaining on twitter than he is on the field. That being said, he is also harder to figure out when online. Enjoy the following… stuff:

“What da lick read”
“I think I want twins”
“Who up”
and my favorite recent tweet that makes no sense: “Now make me take this polo off”

RB2: Ryan Grant – Green Bay Packers – @RyanGrant25
He’s hilarious, interacts with fans and keeps up with pop culture.

“I’m so mad that I had to find out that Tom Cruise won the lead role over me by seeing the M I-4 trailer.. They could have told me lol”

WR1: Chad Ochocinco – New England Patriots – @Ochocinco
The athlete who coined the idea of athletes on twitter, and recently voted the second most valuable twitter user on the PLANET (behind Rainn Wilson of The Office). Chad interacts and entertains. It is impossible to pick out one of his tweets to list. Recently he tweeted about wanting to fight Vincent Wilfork and Albert Haynesworth, who combined would be 9x Chad’s weight.

Please follow Stevie Johnson on twitter. For his sake.

WR2: Stev(i)e Johnson – Buffalo Bills – @StevieJohnson13
You’ve got to hand it to a guy who switches his name from Steve to Stevie midway through his twenties. Follow Bills breakout receiver Stevie J on twitter so he will potentially stop blaming God for his dropped passes.

TE: Rob Gronkowski – New England Patriots – @RobGronkowski
One of the guys that Tom Brady makes look like an All-Pro is a hilarious follow. He tweets about partying in Arizona and spanking celebrities on their birthday. العاب اون لاين

“Hey @KateUpton Happy Birthday!! Can I give you a B day spanky?”

K: Josh Scobee- Jacksonville Jaguars – @JoshScobee10
On the list because he is a professional football player and has a profile picture of himself golfing. Even HE knows how lame kickers look with their silly uni-facemasks.

This guy is rich for kicking a ball six times a week. bwin شركة Your move, everyone else.

D/ST: Chris Kluwe, Punter – Minnesota Vikings – @ChrisWarcraft
I know a punter wouldn’t score me any points in a regular fantasy football league (yet), but Chris Kluwe challenges for funniest athlete on twitter. Well, at least when he’s not posting about World of Warcraft. A punter who plays World of Warcraft. It all makes so much sense.

“Time to play Deus Ex and pass out on my couch. Hooray!”


Kyle is a comedian writer, actor, and producer. You may have seen his standup on CONAN, or somewhere else if you’re really into standup. He has appeared on Fuse, Comedy Central, VH1, and more, and he has written for CBS, Comedy Central, TBS, contributed to Roasts, as well as Huffington Post, CNN, The New York Times, Wired, and a really cool site called Korked Bats.


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