I dare you to watch that video.

Not just for its ungodly length (an 11-minute video is the Internet’s version of a Ken Burns documentary) or the endless list of hashtags that no one is searching, but for an attempt to not get a crick in your neck.

Whipping out your phone and showing people a video of your kid has to be the 2021 version of whipping out your wallet and showing off pictures of your kids. No one wanted to see it back then so why would anyone want to now? Especially when it’s so poorly ripped off of someone else’s YouTube video.

If you like watching YouTube videos so much, OBS, then why not look up one on how to properly download a video from the internet. Or at the very least, how to screengrab and crop or screengrab with a rotation. Because this crap just annoys the hell out of everyone. You turn your phone to watch in landscape, and it flips to portrait because the person didn’t record it right. There are few things worse. And yeah, this may sound like a first-world problem but guess what? This is the first world. And it’s a problem. If Odell Beckham Sr.’s screen recording skills are any indication, then his son must be hella annoying to be around. No wonder his team kicked him off.

Even if you’re absolutely right in an argument, you don’t want to be annoying in delivering your argument. And this video is.

All I’ll say on this whole Odell Beckham Jr. thing is it seems to be the same story with every new chapter. What’s the one constant in all of this? Odell. You mean to tell me Baker has missed on some throws? Shocker! But isn’t it more nuanced than that? It’s so easy for any old dud (or dad) to grab the All-22 and claim someone was wide-open. But how can you determine that based off a video recorded 250 feet in the air? You know defenders read the eyes of a quarterback right? Maybe said player was only wide open because a defender veered off to follow the eyes of the quarterback going through his reads. Plus, let’s not forget the fact that Baker Mayfield is only slightly taller than Kevin Hart. How do you know that oompa loompa could even see his wideout with a pass rush in his face. Another reason why said wideout appeared wide open from the eye in the sky. I know “the eye in the sky never lies,” but it does stretch the truth at times. Just like when you tell your girl she looks great in her outfit just because you don’t want her to change for the third time before going out.

Screenshot Guy might be one of the worst people in football. This doofus will also take a photo of his paused TV screen to drive home his point. But a freeze-frame in the NFL is about as pointless as players wearing eyeblack for night games. Players cover so much ground in less than a second. So a hole that might appear massive or a player who might appear open might not actually be on the field. I just hate when people share screengrabs as absolute truths. An NFL play that only takes up 6 seconds on average is so much more nuanced than a screengrab. It’s not black and white. Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Also, one more thing…

This is another gripe with Odell’s dad is that he’s essentially just another F*ck Jerry or Fat Jew, stealing someone else’s content and getting all the clicks and views for his own account. As a regular content creator on the internet, those people suck. There are retweet buttons and share buttons for a reason. Then again, I can’t expect a guy who doesn’t know how to do a simple screen record to know where the hell a share button would be.

The post Even If Odell Beckham Jr.’s Dad Is Right, He’s Still Wrong For His Awful Attempt At Screengrabbing A Video With His Phone appeared first on Korked Bats.

The Korkie Awards are Korked Bats’ way of recapping the year that was. Not to toot our own horn, but it’s probably the highest honor you can receive in the online sports and comedy blogging landscape.

Many people who have won Oscars, Nobel Peace Prizes, Pulitzer Prizes, and J.D. Power Awards have coveted winning a Korkie and have even been quoted as saying “What’s a Korkie?” and “Please leave me alone” and “If you try and get me to comment on Korkies one more time I’m going to call the police.” Lol! See? It’s a beloved award for millions!

In a year like 2020, you might think there were no redeeming qualities of this year. Well, you’d be wrong, idiot! There were and we bring them to light in this year’s Korkie Awards. All categories and nominees can be seen below.

Plus, as an added bonus, we also call comedian Aziz Ansari live on the air and give a long-overdue hair update.

Watch or listen to the Korkies here:

Here is the complete list of categories (with nominees). Click on certain nominees for more info.

Big Baby Of The Year

Anyone in politics

MLB Owners

That Big Baby That Went Viral Before The Pandemic

(Category starts at 3:59)

[divider][/divider]

Best Corgi Award

Pembroke Welsh Corgi

Cardigan Welsh Corgi

(Category starts at 5:09)

[divider][/divider]

The Shittiest Year Award

Bill O’Brien

The Entire Jets Organization

Odell Beckham Jr.

Lamar Jackson

(Category starts at 7:02)

[divider][/divider]

The Short-Lived App Of The Year

Parler

Quibi

Any Workout App You Downloaded At The Beginning of Quarantine

(Category starts at 10:39)

[divider][/divider]

Cutest Couple

Earl Thomas and His Brother

Mandolorian and Baby Yoda

Will Compton and Taylor Lewan

Derrick Henry and us, Korked Bats

Charles Barkley and Shaq

(Category starts at 13:51)

[divider][/divider]

The Ridiculous Fad Of The Year Award

Guys Wearing Dresses

Dancing On NFL Team Logos

Buying Out All The Toilet Paper*

Murder Hornets

*-Medicated Paper For The Water Closet

(Category starts at 16:45)

[divider][/divider]

Most Hyped Event Of 2020 Award

Trevor Bauer Signing

The Last Dance

The new Call Of Duty

Grit’s TikTok

(Category starts at 25:13)

[divider][/divider]

MLB: Major League Bitch Of The Year

Rob Manfred

Carlos Correa

Jose Altuve

(Category starts at 36:12)

[divider][/divider]

Shittiest Person Who Died This Year

Hitler Bringing Back To Life Just To Kill Him Again

The Guy Who Invented Trailer Hitches

Martin Shkreli (not technically dead)

The Guy Who Stole Your First Crush

The Guy Who Ordered The Bat Soup

(Category starts at 38:21)

[divider][/divider]

Dumbest Name Of The Year

MLB’s Summer Camp

Elon Musk’s Son, X Æ A-12

Football Team

(Category starts at 43:56)

[divider][/divider]

Weirdest Night For An NFL Game Award

Tuesday

Wednesday

Friday

Thursday

(Category starts at 49:13)

[divider][/divider]

Frank Fact Of The Year

It Takes 2 Years To Grow A Single Pineapple

A Whale’s Vagina Is The Size Of A Living Room

Our 10th President, John Tyler, born in 1970, Has Two Grandchildren That Are Still Living Today*

*-one has died since this Frank Fact was read

(Category starts at 52:42)

[divider][/divider]

Best Overall Hair/Beard In The Korked Bats Universe

A.D.

Grit

Carl from The Cineboiz

Austin

(Category starts at 57:39)

[divider][/divider]

Good News Of The Year

Vaccine announced

Keeping Up With The Kardashians is ending

Ultimate Tag on FOX has not been canceled… yet

(Category starts at 1:02:10)

[divider][/divider]

Dumb Social Experiment Candidate Of The Year

Danny Woodhead

J.J. Redick 

Kerri Walsh Jennings 

Lindsey Vonn 

A.J. Brown 

Kenyan Drake

(Category starts at 1:05:50)

[divider][/divider]

Most Likely To Succeed

Space-X

COVID-20

Crippling Depression

You

(Category starts at 1:12:39)

[divider][/divider]

Best Place To Hold A Press Conference And/Or Buy A Rake

Home Depot

Lowe’s

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

(Category starts at 1:17:43)

[divider][/divider]

Best Face Of The Year

Joe Kelly Boo-Boo Lip 

Michael Jordan’s “I took that personally” Face

Rob Lowe wearing an NFL hat 

Patrick Mahomes in a helmet

Andy Reid/Bill Belichick wearing a mask

(Category starts at 1:18:21)

[divider][/divider]

The Worst Of The Year

Fauci’s First Pitch

The Way Patrick Mahomes Looks In A Helmet

Bowdoin College Canceling Their Football Season

Kanye’s Presidential Run

People Who Say “We Did A Thing”

The XFL Folding

The pandemic

(Category starts at 1:20:07)

[divider][/divider]

The Korkie Of The Year

Will Compton

Taylor Swift

Ben DiNucci (aka The Noooooch!)

Allan Bell

Derrick Henry

Chris Evan’s peen

Brendan Fraser

Britney Spears

Mike Vrabel’s pooping son

Kevin Negandhi (The Junk Drawer’s mascot)

Braves Potato

Regis Philbin

the XFL

Nick Markakis

(Category starts at 1:21:29)

Congrats to all the nominees, and remember, if you don’t win, it’s still an honor just to be nominated.

On to 2021…

The post The 2020 Korkie Awards appeared first on Korked Bats.

Unfortunately, Odell Beckham Jr. is now out for the season, but who cares? VIDEO GAMES!!!!

The post FIRST LOOK: Odell Beckham Jr. On The Madden ’16 Cover appeared first on Korked Bats.

On this glorious Thanksgiving Day, let’s take a look at what some of our favorite athletes and coaches are thankful for.

Giancarlo Stanton is thankful… that Major League Baseball doesn’t have a salary cap.

• • •

Aaron Rodgers is thankful… for peace and relaxation.

• • •

Josh Shaw is thankful… that his nephew is alive and well.

• • •

Hunter Pence is thankful… for Red Bull.

• • •

Odell Beckham Jr. is thankful… for both of his hands, even though he only really needs one.

• • •

Eli Manning is thankful… for Odell Beckham Jr., and firetrucks, and candy, and his Legos, and the pillow fort he built in the basement, and his stuffed animals, and when his mom cuts the crust off his PB&J.

• • •

Lane Kiffin is thankful… for Nick Saban.

• • •

Nick Saban is thankful… that the season is almost over so he can get rid of Lane Kiffin.

• • •

Tony Romo is thankful… for DeMarco Murray, because it’s nearly impossible to have a late-game handoff intercepted and returned for a touchdown.

• • •

Kobe Bryant is thankful… his career is almost over so he doesn’t have to put up with this [expletive] anymore.

• • •

Kellen Winslow Jr. is thankful… for Google Maps, so he won’t get lost on his way to Boston Market anymore.

• • •

Jameis Winston is thankful… for the Tallahassee Police Department.

• • •

SEC fans are thankful… for Virginia Tech.

• • •

Marlins Man is thankful… for StubHub.

• • •

Brandon Weeden is thankful… for senior citizen discounts.

• • •

Jay Cutler is thankful… for nothing.

• • •

Urban Meyer is thankful… for comfort food, like pizza.

• • •

Clayton Kershaw is thankful… the Cy Young and MVP awards only take into account the regular season.

• • •

Clayton Kershaw’s posse is thankful… that too. #HiMom!

• • •

Derrick Rose is thankful… for Aflac, for when he gets hurt and has to miss work.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post What Athletes Are Thankful For appeared first on Korked Bats.

And the Giants didn’t even need help from Bill Murray, either.

• • •

Apparently, Steve Bartman tried to ruin this catch too.

The post PICTURE: Odell Beckham Jr. Makes An Out-Of-This-World Catch appeared first on Korked Bats.