Darren Waller inexplicably tried to launch a music career. Look, to each their own. Unless their own is this bad. Woof. This amount of autotune would give T-Pain a stroke. We’d say don’t quit your day job, Darren, but it appears he might be. Let’s hope not for the sake of his bank account and our already bleeding eardrums. Kelsey, you are now completely justified in walking away from this letterman jacketed dude.

The post We Broke Down That Darren Waller Music Video appeared first on Korked Bats.

To the naked eye, you’d think any team that starts off 4-1 is a good team, right? I mean, that’s hard to do. Especially when two of those wins came from teams like the Packers and Titans. 4-1 should, on most days, mean GOOD!

Then why is it we’re all still grappling with the question of: Are the Giants good?

Is it muscle memory? Is it the fact that Daniel Jones is their quarterback? Is it because we know we’re probably one Saquon Barkley season-ending injury away from their offense stalling out? Is it because Brian Daboll looks like the cool youth pastor who was tasked with delivering the sermon in big church this week?

I don’t know. All I’m saying is I know I’m not alone in this. All of America is torn with this question. It’s a question we even covered on this week’s Doing Lines. Look, Giants fans, your team very well could be good. Hell, they might even be great! But for whatever reason, we just don’t know yet. Take it from me, a Titans fan. When they won the AFC’s #1 seed for the playoffs last year, everyone in the media (and America) was wondering, “Are the Titans even good?” Hell, even I and other Titans fans were wondering. And that was AFTER SEVENTEEN WEEKS! So it might take a while to reach our conclusion. The jury is still out. And it’s one of those deliberations where the county is going to have to use taxpayer funding to put this jury up in hotels.

So are the Giants good? We don’t know. Yet.

To be honest, it may even be one of those questions that’s unanswerable. You know, like… What is the meaning of life? What are your biggest weaknesses? Why did they get rid of the poke button on Facebook? When will Dippin’ Dots become the ice cream of the present?

Maybe there’s a Tootsie Roll Pop answer to “Are the Giants good?” And the world may never know. (Shoutout to Mr. Owl, a massive Titans fan)

The post America Has Been Struck By One Of The Toughest Questions In History: Are The Giants Good? appeared first on Korked Bats.

I’ve made my position on Todd Downing abundantly clear. I’ve blogged about it plenty. I flat-out don’t like him as a coach of the Tennessee Titans. At least not at a position higher than tight ends coach, because when it comes to playcalling, he’s the Big Bang Theory. You can watch him for an entire season and still never find a single punchline or redeeming quality. His offenses are lackluster. They’re predictable. They’re – dare I say – boring. His offense doesn’t create space, which makes it easy to defend. Now, I know he’s filling the shoes for arguably one of the best offensive minds in the NFL with Arty Smith, but after one season with the Waffle House menu in his hand, he’s proven there are better O.C. options out there.

However, I think you know what conjunction is coming next.

…..BUT,

The Titans’ Week 1 loss isn’t on him.

I know. I know. For some of you reading this right now, the screen is about to turn red like it did on MTV’s Boiling Point because you’re about to hit yours. You’re livid. “OF COURSE IT’S ON TODD!” you’re probably currently screaming at your phone, laptop, or refrigerator door screen.*

(*- for the rich people who get the internet on their refrigerator doors)

As a proud member of Titans Twitter, I know that won’t be the case. We need a scapegoat. We need someone to pin this loss on. And since Tannehill played his damn ass off, it can’t be him. So we go to #2 on the Titans Twitter Most Wanted list. And that man is Todd Downing.

I just don’t think he’s the one to pin this loss on. Many of you will quickly point to the end-around to Chig on 3rd and 1. I understand your frustration, but I don’t hate the call.

How many other people can smoothly drop a T-Swift lyric into their NFL analysis? But that’s legitimately how I feel. The box was loaded. I’m ok with them trying to get to the edge. The problem there wasn’t the play call. It was the execution. The FOX play-by-play broadcaster on the call immediately questioned the call, which I’m sure only added kerosene to the fire among Titans fans. But if the nimwit calling the game was expecting 22 to get the ball on 3rd and 1, then you better believe all 11 on the Giants D were too. If you want to get mad at someone on that play, get mad at Taylor Lewan for blowing an assignment and Nick Westbrook-Ikhene for choosing to block the safety rather than the free linebacker.

If Lewan seals that block and NWI doesn’t run right by a backer, Chig has one-on-one with Adoree Jackson. And I like that size matchup for Chig.

What else would you like to get on Downing for? The Wildcat — excuse me the Kingcat (even tho WildKing sounds better) — on the earlier 3rd and 1? Derrick dropped the snap. Pretty sure any Titans fan would take Derrick in the Kingcat in short yardage. So how is that failed conversion on Todd?

And sure, you can get nitpicky here and there. But overall, the Titans just didn’t execute. Tannehill looked insanely sharp, but dropped passes by Kyle Philips, Geoff Swaim, Dontrelle Hilliard, and Treylon Burks didn’t help. Those guys catch the footballs, the offense looks better, and no one is calling for Todd’s life. I MEAN JOB! I said job! I know this may seem like I’m carrying the water for Todd, but again, I assure you, I am not. I do not want him to be the Titans O.C.. I don’t know how many times I have to say it. But I’m also not going to force blame on him when something isn’t his fault. Although, like I said, Titans Twitter needs a scapegoat. So don’t worry, I came prepared with some potential scapegoats for you to choose from.

Take your pick:

The fact that pretty much no starters played in the preseason. Now, this is an easy point-your-fingers excuse. The Rams started this trend in 2020, where they didn’t play any starters through (at that time) all four preseason games. Since then, many teams have followed suit – the Titans being one of them. And over the last two years, the Titans have come out playing flat in season openers. I’m not saying the two are correlated, but it’s ironic how we’ve essentially gotten the same outcome in two straight seasons. Especially when you look at a team like Kansas City who allowed their starters to play most of an entire quarter in the preseason, and they came out on fire in Week 1. Plus, we all know it takes Derrick a game or two to get up to full speed. Why not give him a couple reps in the preseason and quit letting them use the regular season to get back to speed. But again, that’s an easy excuse to make from your couch.

Kyle Philips muffed punt. This one doesn’t feel fair, because this dude played incredible – including what should’ve been the game-winning catch to put the Titans in field goal range in the final seconds. But for as goos as he was, mistakes were made, and none bigger than setting the Giants up for a drive at the 11-yardline. This was a backbreaker, and for anyone who’s seen The Dark Knight Rises, you know backbreakers take a while to come back from. Sorry, I felt like I had to make a Hollywood reference since Philips is from L.A.

The Titans defense’s 30-minute halftime. Maybe this one goes back to the not playing in the preseason thing, but the Titans defense clearly forgot that halftimes aren’t supposed to last that long. They took their sweet time in the second half showing up – allowing both Saquon and Sterling Shepard to break off big plays on them. Although, personally, I have a hard time holding this one against them. There have been countless times where I, too, have taken a dump during halftime and I didn’t come back out until halfway through the third quarter. Which it appears is exactly what the Titans defense did. They took a dump and took a while to come back.

Saquon Barkley. He’s just really good. Much like Derrick Henry, I feel like many of us forgot about his greatness while he was injured.

The Titans using their last timeout to avoid a delay of game on the final drive. This one was bad. Really bad. With :18 seconds, the Titans had a chance to run another play, use the middle of the field and get even closer for Fat Randy. But like me, they procrastinated and forced Vrabel to use their final timeout. Then ran a play to center the ball which lost them 3 yards and ultimately led to…

Fat Randy missing his field goal. Kickers are paid to make kicks. This isn’t the 1990s or early 2000s anymore. Anything inside 50 should be automatic. But instead, Fat Randy just put a little too much cankle on it. Vrabel should bribed him with some Mickey D’s after the game or something.

T-Rac. This one turns out to be a failsafe. When things go awry, I always look to that damn rodent first. As a Tennessee native, I know just how annoying raccoons are. So I’m sure amongst all of his costume changes, T-Rac had something to do with this loss.

So look, if you want to place blame on Todd, that’s fine. I’m not gonna stop you. But I just think this loss was squarely placed on execution. Todd can’t catch. Todd can’t block. (One could argue Todd can’t call plays either – but not in this game’s case.) Todd can only signal in plays and hope the players execute. Which they did not. And look, it’s also important to note: It’s Week 1 (or in the Titans case, the first preseason game). Last I checked, the first week of the season does not make or break a season – we learned as much last season. Things will be fine. Especially considering the rest of the division sucks.

Plus, what did you expect? For the Titans to take down New York on the anniversary of 9/11? That would just be disgusting, you monsters!

The post Oh Lord, I Can’t Believe I’m Actually Saying This, But That Titans Loss Was Not Todd Downing’s Fault appeared first on Korked Bats.

This tweet sent shockwaves throughout the entire league. Fast forward a few days, the report turned out to be true.

Tom Brady officially* retired. (for now… I mean, we all remember Brett)

Almost immediately, there was an outcry of love, support, and respect for Tom Brady throughout the league, praising him for a tremendous career, and rightfully so. You don’t need me to tell you that he’s won 7 Super Bowls and is 44-years-old.

One person that didn’t say anything, which is sort of his M.O. to begin with, was Bill Belichick. Bill has been relatively silent on the Tom Brady news and really has kept his name out of the news until….. the day Tom Brady officially retired.

Obviously, I am not making light of the severity of the situation, I respect Brian Flores for taking a stand and shining a light on a very serious issue in the NFL. I’m simply pointing out that I don’t find it to be no coincidence text messages by Bill Belichick surface the day Tom announced his retirement. Bill couldn’t handle the praise and love that Tom was receiving. To say he’s jealous would be an understatement.

First of all, the thought of Bill Belichick just texting, in general, has me giggling. He definitely texts with one finger and takes him a significant amount of time to send just the simplest text message. I mean, let’s be real, I can’t be the only one surprised that he has iPhone. Bill is definitely the type of person who couldn’t believe how expensive an iPhone was and will use his iPhone 4 until the iPhone 24 comes out.

Second of all, look at the team that Bill is throwing under the bus. Right? It’s the Giants. The only team to beat Bill and the Patriots twice in the Super Bowl. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, I’m simply stating the facts.

Bill straight up stole Tom Brady’s thunder by an “oops wrong chat” and threw multiple organizations under the bus in the process. You think I believe Bill Belichick “oops wrong chat”‘ted someone? Bill knew exactly what he was doing. He’s out here playing Belichess, not Belicheckers.

The post CONSPIRACY: Bill Belichick’s Texts Stole The Spotlight From Brady While Simultaneously Hurting The Giants appeared first on Korked Bats.

Forget ice cream and movies … Joe Judge is getting over his New York Giants breakup with beer and pizza — and a whole hell of a lot of it!!! The former G-Men head coach — who was canned on Tuesday following two abysmal seasons with the team — ordered a boatload of ‘za and suds to his New Jersey home on Wednesday, presumably to help drown out his newfound sorrows. Pictures, obtained by TMZ Sports, show the newly unemployed 40-year-old had nine boxes of pizza as well as several cases of Michelob Ultra and Coors Light delivered to his place. We’re also told Judge had flowers arrive on his doorstep as well.

Ok, I think I now believe him that former players called him wanting to join his team’s culture. Look at these pics (courtesy of TMZ)…

This also explains that 3rd and 9 quarterback sneak call. My man was probably looking to get fired, just for the excuse to throw a rager like this. Maybe the Giants should re-hire him? Sure, he’s a bad head coach. But how can you not respect how he responds in the face of adversity? And as a man who’s been fired multiple times, I’d argue there are few beers better than the recently laid off beer. It trickles down the gullet like the finest of wines. You know why? Because when your job was flushed down the toilet, so was your responsibility. You don’t have to stop at just one on a school night. You can have three, maybe five, or hell, in Joe’s case, seventeen… cases. And if you mix in some pizza into that equation, you’re basically throwing yourself an adult birthday party. Only thing missing is the bounce house… which I wouldn’t be surprised if he had delivered through the back.

Look, if women can drown their breakup sorrows in Ben & Jerry’s and wine, why can’t football coaches overcome their pink slips with some pizza and beer? Joe Judge, I’ll be honest, I didn’t respect you at all when you were coaching the New York Football Giants, but I respect the hell out of you now. Party on, Joe.

P.S. Joe, it’s well past time to take down the Christmas decorations. We’re almost halfway through January. Professional football coach or not, there is no excuse for that.

The post Joe Judge Dealt With His Giants Breakup The Way Any Red-Blooded American Should: Pizza And Beer… LOTS OF IT appeared first on Korked Bats.

Look at this dweeb.

Wait, sorry. Don’t flag me for taunting Giants owner John Mara, who recently met with the media and voiced his displeasure with the NFL and the taunting that’s in the sport. My man’s butt cheeks were probably clenched tight enough to turn coal into diamonds during this entire presser. And since he’s a member of the competition committee, the league is now cracking down harder on “taunting.” You know, because grown ass men shouldn’t have their feelings hurt. Now, you can read “taunting” as “rubbing it into your opponent’s face” or you can read it as how it will probably be called this season, which is by “showing any emotion after a big play.”

This feels a lot like baseball’s unwritten rules. For years, people tried to keep the game in a boring little box. But now the game is getting flashier, and frankly, more entertaining. Unfortunately, since the NFL is top dog in America, no one will criticize the sport near as bad as they did with baseball.

Unless of course, you hit up a comment section.

So I did. I wanted to see how people feel about this new rule. Unfortunately, however, the comment sections are a cesspool. If you think Twitter is bad, you should check the comments. Actually don’t. I just went ahead and pulled some for you. I’m not gonna say which news outlet I pulled these comments from, but let’s just say it rhymes with Mox Mews. And naturally, with any comment section, you have your typical blatant stereotyping and just straight-up racism. But with these people commenting under usernames, I felt no need to share any of those (and sadly, there were a lot), because we don’t need to be fueling any more of that in this country – or anywhere on earth. With that said, here are some of the comments from this story:

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I’m sensing sarcasm.

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In my decade-plus spent in sports talk radio, this remains one of my biggest pet peeves. The argument callers would make of “I couldn’t do that at MY job!” Uhhh, yeah, Gary. Because you work in accounting. You don’t have millions of people wanting to watch you do your job either, because the only talents you have are crunching numbers and working in Excel, you doofus.

I also hate how people always bring the money argument of how much these guys get paid into the argument. How insecure are you to bring that up as argument #1. But let’s dive into this a little more later.

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Ok, I’m not exactly sure what this means.

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I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that the taunting today is a little more serious and abrasive than “we’re gonna beat you guys.”

But I’m also with magruder. Who the hell won? I bet it was Mitchell. They’re always good, and plus, one of their players said they were gonna beat you guys.

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13%? That’s such an oddly specific percentage of players. Did you crunch those numbers yourself?

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Not sure how this comment relates to anything in the story about the NFL cracking down on taunting, but ok.

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These guys need more classes.

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Wow. This person must really like taunting. To the point where it was added to their list of reasons why they’re done with the NFL.

Also, wouldn’t you only really need one reason to be done with something? Maybe two? Like I don’t keep adding things to the reason why I dumped my ex-girlfriend in college. And even if I did, I don’t think I would make said list over 400 reasons deep. That’s when we enter coo-coo bird territory.

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Again with the “at my job” talk. Your job at Home Depot isn’t the same as playing defensive back for the Minnesota Vikings. Quit comparing what you do to the incredible skill and talent of what professional athletes do. You are expected to act professional at your sales job? Probably because you are 1000% replaceable at your sales job. Why? Literally, anyone on earth can get into sales. Not everyone can be a professional athlete.

Second, here’s that “paid millions” argument again. So the more money you get paid, the more robotic you have to act? And based on that logic, does that mean teachers – who get paid nothing – are allowed to act however the hell they want? Can they break the rules because of their low payscale?

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Someone might want to sit down Robert Anthony for this one, but here are the most-watched television programs over the last decade:

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Sick burn, JonesRick.

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Ok, this is actually funny. And probably true.

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Look, my man doesn’t even care about John Mara, the NFL, or taunting in sports. He’s just sick and tired of that damn Tucker Carlson pop-up ad and needed to vent about it to someone.

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Ok, what the hell does this even mean? Grouper, did you even think about this joke before typing it?

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This one made me laugh out loud. Maybe John Mara should consider buying a jump rope team if he doesn’t want to see taunting in the Nancy Football League.

The post Giants Owner John Mara Whining About “Taunting” In The NFL Is Almost As Bad As The Story’s Comments Section appeared first on Korked Bats.

There’s no way it could get any worse for Saquon, right? Wrong. Saquon said, “hold my crutches.”

After the curse I placed on him last week, Saquon had to be assisted off the field following the first play in the 2nd quarter. It sucks. Perhaps Saquon was trying too hard to outrush the 24 quarterbacks from last week.

I would just like to personally apologize to Saquon, the Giants, and fantasy owners who drafted Saquon this year. In no way, shape, or form did I think my blog on Saquon’s rushing yards (or lack there of) would have this type of effect on him.

As NFL fans, injuries are the worst. It was an injury-riddled week in the NFL with big name stars like Saquon, Nick Bosa, Christian McCaffrey, Drew Lock, Courtland Sutton, Jimmy “loves pornstars” Garoppolo, Davante Adams, Parris Campbell, Tyrod Taylor, Sterling Shepard, Raheem Mostert, and literally every other player in the NFL all going down with injury.

If you drafted Saquon on your fantasy team, just know that the sun came up this morning and the world has officially NOT ended (your fantasy season has though). But life will go on (unlike your fantasy team) and, who knows, you could find that diamond in the rough on the waiver wire (you won’t).

The post Did I Curse The Great Saquon Barkley And His Fantasy Owners? appeared first on Korked Bats.

Hi, my name is A.D. and I am addicted to fantasy football. [pause for everyone here to say, “Hi, A.D.”] The first step is admitting you have a problem. I love fantasy. Whether it’s a standard league with your buds or even daily fantasy, I love it all.

One thing I love about fantasy football is giving your friends grief for drafting certain players or maybe missing out on a player. When you’re addicted to fantasy football and in six (6!) leagues like myself, there’s a pretty good chance that you will have just about every player on at least one of your teams. One player I was not targeting this year: Saquon Barkley. And, well, so far it seems to be working out for me.

Not to pile on, but let’s look at a list:

1. Fitzpatrick – 18 yards
2. Jared Goff – 15 yards
3. Dwayne Haskins – 17 yards
4. Tyrod Taylor – 7 yards
5. Matthew Stafford – 23 yards
6. Joe Burrow – 46 yards
7. Dak Prescott – 30 yards
8. Jimmy Garoppolo – 9 yards
9. Ryan Tannehill – 14 yards
10. Daniel Jones – 22 yards (Saquon’s QB)
11. Teddy Bridgewater – 26 yards
12. Gardner Minshew II – 19 yards
13. Deshaun Watson – 27 yards
14. Ben Roethlisberger – 9 yards
15. Tom Brady – 9 yards
16. Kirk Cousins – 34 yards
17. Mitch Trubisky – 26 yards
18. Cam Newton – 75 yards
19. Kyler Murray – 91 yards
20. Lamar Jackson – 45 yards
21. Josh Allen – 57 yards
22. Russel Wilson – 29 yards
23. Taysom Hill – 13 yards
24. Sam Darnold – 6 yards (tied)

You may notice a recurring theme with this list. What is this list exactly? Obviously, these are all quarterbacks (and in one case, a backup quarterback). All of these quarterbacks (except Sammy D) have more rushing yards than the guy who probably went 2nd, 3rd, or 4th overall in your fantasy draft.

Saquon was contained to 6 yards on 15 carries by the Steelers defense. YIKES. You know it’s bad when your own quarterback had nearly 4 times as many yards as you to start the season. You know it’s even worse when a 38 year old Ben Roethlisberger rushes for 3 more yards than you.

Good luck trying to win your fantasy league when your 1st round pick has 6 yards rushing! hahahahahahahahaahaha

The post If You Have Saquon Barkley On Your Fantasy Team, Don’t Worry, Here’s Some More Salt In Your Wounds appeared first on Korked Bats.

The post Eli Manning’s Retirement Letter appeared first on Korked Bats.

Unfortunately, Odell Beckham Jr. is now out for the season, but who cares? VIDEO GAMES!!!!

The post FIRST LOOK: Odell Beckham Jr. On The Madden ’16 Cover appeared first on Korked Bats.