The Clippers may be gone, but the image of Steve Ballmer slappin’ his bros’ upper thighs will live on forever.

Look, I’m not gonna pretend I’ve never gotten excited to the point where I just wanted to grope the hell out of my guys. Sometimes things happen, sometimes upper thighs get slapped, maybe gripped, and sometimes you just have to sit down for a while immediately. I get it. Ballmer was jacked up. Who am I to judge what he does during? Who am I to tell him not to grab the inner loins of his best pals sitting next to him? Let he who hasn’t probably committed a few HR violations on national TV cast the first stone.

It also should not be overlooked how the guy has impeccable form too. This definitely isn’t his first thigh-grabbin’ rodeo. He starts off with the alternate slap. Right, left, right, left. Then he goes in for the double fister, just grabbing a chunk of each guys’ quad. Then he does some grippin’, some shakin’, and some rippin’. Then he downhill snow skis with their thighs as his poles right into sitting himself down. Just true form, and we’re lucky to have witnessed it.

And of course, I can’t write a blog about Ballmer without a montage of his and Billy Gates’s hypest moments from Microsoft.

The post I Can’t Stop Thinking About Steve Ballmer Celebrating With The Double Upper Thigh Grab appeared first on Korked Bats.

LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Clippers unveiled a new team logo on Wednesday night, and scientists are already claiming it could be the cure to insomnia.

Clippers Owner Steve Ballmer unveiled the new team logos on Conan last night and the early reviews are in. They’re really really boring. Like put you to sleep boring. However, they might be able to provide a lot of good to many in need.

Employees at the National Sleep Foundation are calling it “a major breakthrough” in the world of insomnia.

“We have patients who have been dealing with insomnia for years, many of whom stay up late to watch Conan every night,” Sleep Research Scientist Gill Brayden said. “However, when they unveiled the new Clippers logos on the show last night, our patients fell asleep instantly.”

“The new logos are so boring, it’s causing many to fall asleep!” Chief Sleep Research Scientist Gregg Francis excited shouted. “I think we’ve done it! We’ve found a cure for insomnia! We just need to flash the Clippers’ new logo in front of them and it will bore them to sleep!”

The National Sleep Foundation has begun testing the new theory on patients and 100% of them have fallen into deep sleeps within seconds of seeing the new logo. However, a lot more testing must be conducted before it can be classified as a cure. Until then, scientists at the National Sleep Foundation claim they will continue to use their old method to help insomniac patients fall asleep, and that is to just make them watch a Lakers game.

The post Clippers Find Cure For Insomnia With Introduction Of Their New Team Logo appeared first on Korked Bats.

I was kind of hoping that last logo was a joke too.

The post Blake Griffin and Steve Ballmer Come Up With The New Clippers Logo [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.

And now, someone posted this Missed Connection on Craigslist.

Click on the image to view it larger.

They say it’s better to have loved and lost than to be the Los Angeles Clippers.

(pic via @afigman)

The post PICTURE: Clippers Post Missed Connection On Craigslist appeared first on Korked Bats.

LOS ANGELES —

An offer has been made by Sterling’s camp and Sterling says he has some much-needed changes in store for the franchise when he officially becomes owner.

“We can all agree that the Redskins name is extremely racist and offensive,” Sterling said. “So that’s why I want to buy the team and change the name to something even more racist and offensive.”

Sterling already has a list of potential name changes.

“I was thinking of changing the name to the [expletive racial slur] or the [expletive racial slur] or even just the Steve Buscemi Teeth,” Sterling said. “But I’m not sure, that last one may be even too offensive for my liking.”

Redskins current owner Dan Snyder says his team is not for sale, but then again, he also says the name Redskins isn’t offensive to Native Americans, so we just don’t know what to believe anymore.

When asked why he wants to branch out into another ownership opportunity, Sterling responded, “Hey, I’m not banned from the NFL yet, so why not?!”

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Check out these 13 New Less Offensive Redskins Mascot Ideas

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post REPORTS: Donald Sterling Trying To Buy The Redskins, Change Name To Something More Offensive appeared first on Korked Bats.

LOS ANGELES — Former Los Angeles Clippers owner and current racist Donald Sterling decided to do something recently to get his name back in the headlines after nearly 36 hours of no one mentioning his name.

Sources say Donald Sterling just keeps trying to do stuff so he can maintain this attention for the rest of his life, so many expect Donald Sterling to continue making headlines for another two years or so. لعبه البوكر لعبه البوكر Very few people are even sure what Sterling did this time, but frankly, it doesn’t even matter, because we are forced to report anything he does at this point. Anything except for eating, because he literally never stops eating.

“Mr. Sterling just wants his voice to be heard,” Sterling’s attorney said. موقع المراهنات العالمي “Because he really likes the sound of his own voice.”

Sterling’s team of advisors have been meeting with him regularly to find ways to shed a positive light on the former Clippers owner. His team of advisors is made up of Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Amanda Bynes’ blonde wig, Randy Quaid, and Justin Bieber’s hype man, who is actually just Justin Bieber.

We’re now going to use this next paragraph to just write Donald Sterling’s name over and over. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. And also, Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. With Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling. Donald Sterling, too.

If anything else happens in this Donald Sterling saga, whether it’s important or not, you’ll be sure to hear about it. شرح لعبة الروليت

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Donald Sterling Decides To Do Something Because No One Has Talked About Him For A While appeared first on Korked Bats.

Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is crazy. just bought the Los Angeles Clippers for $2 billion. So, a guy who used to be the CEO of PC is buying the Clippers away from a guy who was anything but P.C.

Steve Ballmer is crazy. is a very animated human being. To prove just how animated he is, we compiled 10 of the craziest most entertaining videos of Steve Ballmer that we could find. Enjoy the next few minutes of your life as you watch these videos.

10. Steve Ballmer Screams Web Develops Upon Request

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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9. Steve Ballmer Crying On Stage

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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8. Steve Ballmer Sells Microsoft Windows 1.0

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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7. Steve Ballmer Sells Microsoft Windows XP

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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6. Steve Ballmer Autographs A Guy’s Mac

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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5. Steve Ballmer and Bill Gates’ Playday

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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4. Steve Ballmer and Bill Gates’ Night at the Roxbury Spoof

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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3. Steve Ballmer’s Developers

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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2. Steve Ballmer’s Developers Music Video

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

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1. Steve Ballmer Going Crazy

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

At least he’s not racist… So… There’s a plus.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post The 10 Best Videos of New Clippers Owner Steve Ballmer appeared first on Korked Bats.

It’s kind of like how all NBA teams updated their websites after Donald Sterling was banned for life.

• • •

This post was written by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post PICTURE: Clippers Update Website’s Homepage After Sale Of Team appeared first on Korked Bats.

Before he sells the Clippers, he sells out the Clippers.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post PICTURE: The Ref From The Clippers-Thunder Game Revealed appeared first on Korked Bats.

On a mobile phone? Watch the video here.

 Comparing Jabba The Hutt to Donald Sterling is an insult to Jabba The Hutt.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

The post Donald Sterling Is An Even Bigger Monster Than We Thought [VIDEO] appeared first on Korked Bats.