A little late this week with the recap, but it’s the Men Tell All episode, and I rarely ever do a recap for this episode anyway. But when a DEFINITELY ORGANIC MOMENT like when an audience member interrupts the show to kiss Connor, you know I’ve got to cover it. So I did. Plus, Michael A. decided to leave to spend more time with his son and/or go to Disney World with him. And, I mean, who can blame him?

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This was a tough week. At least for me, personally. Because we had to say goodbye to Andrew S. He was my favorite. My Chicago brethren. My man. But now he’s gone. And sure, he had a chance to stay, which would’ve been awesome. But instead, he got a chance to say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bachelorette, which I will admit, is a pretty boss move.

But as they say, when one door closes, a window is opened.

Right? Is that the saying? I think it’s something like that. Well, that window is Cuddle Queen Jean. Who is the Cuddle Queen? Oh just you wait. Quite possibly the greatest Bachelor/Bachelorette character since Kim (I still love you, Kim!). I know a lot of people are bummed Chris Harrison is no longer on the show – I am too – but I take solace in the idea that maybe ABC will have Cuddle Queen Jean host the show from now on.

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Welp, another week, another villain booted from the show. I mean, sure, I get it. This show is all about finding someone to love for Katie, but it’s also about entertainment. And there isn’t any entertainment without a little drama. So Katie, stop being so selfish and start keeping some of these douchey villains on the show. Because otherwise, we’re going to be looking at *Chris Harrison voice* the most boring Bachelorette finale yet.

This week Hunter got the boot. Who’s Taylor? He’s the one who looks like a jacked Max from A Goofy Movie. He gets absolutely roasted by nearly every guy in the house at the beginning of the episode, and then sent home by the end of it. Just absolutely brutal.

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The recap was a little late this week, but it’s here. You can rest assure it may show up late, like Blake, but it will always be there. Like Connor’s hand on the back of your head during a make-out sesh.

This week we were introduced to a good ol’ fashioned game (sport?) of BASH BALL. What is BASH BALL? I don’t know. I’m actually legitimately asking. I’d bet ABC producers don’t even know what it is. And they invented it. The only real explanation for it was a chance to allow grown men let out their aggression on a field while being couped up in a bubble for so long. Check out my recap and let me know your thoughts on Hunter and his heel turn this week.

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The post What The Hell Is BASH BALL? A Bachelorette Recap (From A Guy) – Episode 5 appeared first on Korked Bats.

Hold up… are we #TeamThomas? Yes. And I pitch my case for it. The dude may be slimy and sometimes a sleeze, but you can’t deny he wasn’t honest throughout. And the way Katie sent him home was far more disrespectful than anything he did on this show this season.

Plus… RIP in peace to Judge Reinhold for being sent home this season. I was pulling for him.

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Nobody gives a better facial expression reaction than Justin. I could literally watch two solid hours of him reacting to things. اسرار لعبة الروليت Give us more of the KING!

This week’s episode sent away one villain (Karl), but introduced us into a new one (Thomas). Thomas will probably be around for longer because he’s taller and better looking than Karl, but that also means we have to withstand his random smiling. It’s like he’s a robot and doesn’t know basic human reactions. 1xbet عربي

Also note: there was some pretty serious stuff that was covered in this episode that should not be overlooked. If you’ve ever been the victim of sexual assault, visit here for resources that can help. سباق خيول

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• The Bachelor or Bachelorette saying something like, “This is crazy. I can’t believe I’m here. And even more so, I can’t believe I’m about to meet my future husband/wife tonight.”
• Meeting the contestants, getting a glimpse into their lives, and learning that most of them are extremely awkward on camera.

and

• Guys or girls always getting out of the limo trying to do something that makes them stand out. Which is exactly the reason for this blog.

Here are the top 5 cringiest dudes from the season premiere of Katie’s season of The Bachelorette.

HONORABLE MENTION: The guy who gave Katie his little league baseball glove

I’m anti taking your glove to MLB games, so you better believe I’m anti taking your glove onto a reality TV dating show. You think this will impress her? Literally, every boy ever played at least one year of little league baseball. And plus, what is she going to do with your old leathery glove? It’s just a weird thing to bring with you for a first impression.

5. Guy who made truck bed into a ball pit & only made ball puns

When I said my man made a lot of ball puns, I mean I’m pretty sure my man only spoke in ball puns. And look, you can be known as a lot of things on this show, but you DO NOT want to be known as “Ball Guy.” That’s a tough look to come back from. Plus, isn’t the ball pit the absolute grossest part of a McDonald’s PlayPlace?

4. Gatsby in a box

Honestly, I kinda wish most of these guys spent 3/4ths of the episode in a box. But instead it was Jay Gatsby. Which, to his credit, he doesn’t seem like that bad of a guy. I just hate the schticks on this show – especially on the first episode. Call me old fashioned, but just throw on your best suit and try to charm the ol’ lassie. Ok, yeah. Pretty sure that last sentence aged me 45 years just by typing it. But you get what I mean, right? The show has gotten so silly and extreme that now you’d stand out if you DIDN’T have some sort of gimmick. So instead of spending the entire night in a box, maybe don’t?

3. Blow up doll guy

This guy. Man. He pulls the ol’ rope-a-dope saying there was someone special in his life who got him through the last year. Someone who was a shoulder to cry on and someone who would listen and comfort him when he was down. I knew he wasn’t talking about an actual girl, but I’ll admit, I thought he was going to bring out a dog. Try and win Katie over with a little K-9 jelly, if ya know what I mean. But instead, he brought out a blow-up doll. And not even a pretty one. I’m talking fresh out of the prop closet from Old School. What made this even cringier is that he had to walk around with the doll the rest of the night. Tough look, my man.

2. Celery-eating RV guy

What’s a way to make up for being from Jersey City, New Jersey? Oh, I know! How about driving your dirty-ass R.V. to California, not cleaning it up, and bringing Katie on board. And then eating celery while she talks to you. Gah, my man thought he was being slick Rick, when in reality he came across as more greasy than an oil slick. Like that’s what you’re going with as your most impressive first impression?! “Not to brag, but I live in a motorhome.” No woman wants to get with a guy who has to get an emissions test on his apartment every year.

I doubt Katie would even want to watch R.V., let alone go on one with a dude she just met. By the way, RIP in peace Robin Williams.

1. Cat costume guy playing the floor keyboard from BIG

As a Nashville native, I admittedly still get excited whenever I see a contestant from Nashville. Even though 9 out of 10 of them are Nashville transplants to further their music career and/or dog food jingle writing career. But this guy appeared to be the only person from Nashville on this season. In his pre-show package, he appeared like a genuinely nice guy. He’s a teacher, he’s pursuing a career in music (of course), and he was a good-looking dude. But then… when he hopped out of the limo… he was dressed in a cat costume. And look, 2021, I get it. Maybe he’s a regular at fury conventions. Who am I to judge? But is this REALLY the play here? With 5 million people watching, you really want to show up looking like Felix the Cat? And then to make things even wilder, he busted out the keyboard from BIG to play with Katie.

Part of me wondered if I somehow took acid because I couldn’t keep up with this guy pulling every move out of his bag of tricks (another Felix reference). And then, to cap it all off, my made-out with Katie with the same aggression and moves I imagine a cat would use to make out with a human.

The worst part is… Katie liked this dude. Which tells me Katie is a crazy cat lady, which should probably be a red flag for the 30 dudes.

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Welp, this is it. The season has finally come to an end, which means my recaps for this season have finally come to an end. In this last episode you’ll find:

• my takes on the finale
• a special dedication
• the epic conclusion to the Kim + Me saga

Thank you to everyone who watched this season. And even more thank you to everyone who shared these recaps with friends this season. We’ll see you this summer.

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I legit thought I was going to take the week off from making a Bachelor recap for the Women Tell All episode, but after receiving a DM late Monday night, that all changed.

At first, I felt like there wasn’t enough meat on the Women Tell All bone to make a full recap. There was nothing juicy, nothing new. It just was. But then I got this DM about a mystery girl among the women. Hat tip to Riley for looking out. I thought nothing of it, and assumed there was a simple explanation.

There was not a simple explanation.

At least not at first. So I did some watching. I did some digging. And ultimately, I may have unearthed it. Follow my journey with the video above.

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We’re already to Hometowns* (*-kinda) and this episode might be my favorite of the season, because it was weird as hell. From Michelle’s students asking Matt James some horny-ass questions to Rachel crash landing out of the sky to Matt inexplicably bringing Bri’s family a giant-ass stuffed bunny. Why? Spoiler: we don’t know! Nor do we ever find out. Like what the hell?? Are the Bachelor producers just messing with us at this point?

There’s so much to unpack from this episode and I try to hit it all in this week’s recap.

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