The Korkie Awards are Korked Bats’ way of recapping the year that was. Not to toot our own horn, but it’s probably the highest honor you can receive in the online sports and comedy blogging landscape.

Many people who have won Oscars, Nobel Peace Prizes, Pulitzer Prizes, and J.D. Power Awards have coveted winning a Korkie and have even been quoted as saying “What’s a Korkie?” and “Please leave me alone” and “If you try and get me to comment on Korkies one more time I’m going to call the police.” Lol! See? It’s a beloved award for millions!

In a year like 2020, you might think there were no redeeming qualities of this year. Well, you’d be wrong, idiot! There were and we bring them to light in this year’s Korkie Awards. All categories and nominees can be seen below.

Plus, as an added bonus, we also call comedian Aziz Ansari live on the air and give a long-overdue hair update.

Watch or listen to the Korkies here:

Here is the complete list of categories (with nominees). Click on certain nominees for more info.

Big Baby Of The Year

Anyone in politics

MLB Owners

That Big Baby That Went Viral Before The Pandemic

(Category starts at 3:59)

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Best Corgi Award

Pembroke Welsh Corgi

Cardigan Welsh Corgi

(Category starts at 5:09)

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The Shittiest Year Award

Bill O’Brien

The Entire Jets Organization

Odell Beckham Jr.

Lamar Jackson

(Category starts at 7:02)

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The Short-Lived App Of The Year

Parler

Quibi

Any Workout App You Downloaded At The Beginning of Quarantine

(Category starts at 10:39)

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Cutest Couple

Earl Thomas and His Brother

Mandolorian and Baby Yoda

Will Compton and Taylor Lewan

Derrick Henry and us, Korked Bats

Charles Barkley and Shaq

(Category starts at 13:51)

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The Ridiculous Fad Of The Year Award

Guys Wearing Dresses

Dancing On NFL Team Logos

Buying Out All The Toilet Paper*

Murder Hornets

*-Medicated Paper For The Water Closet

(Category starts at 16:45)

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Most Hyped Event Of 2020 Award

Trevor Bauer Signing

The Last Dance

The new Call Of Duty

Grit’s TikTok

(Category starts at 25:13)

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MLB: Major League Bitch Of The Year

Rob Manfred

Carlos Correa

Jose Altuve

(Category starts at 36:12)

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Shittiest Person Who Died This Year

Hitler Bringing Back To Life Just To Kill Him Again

The Guy Who Invented Trailer Hitches

Martin Shkreli (not technically dead)

The Guy Who Stole Your First Crush

The Guy Who Ordered The Bat Soup

(Category starts at 38:21)

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Dumbest Name Of The Year

MLB’s Summer Camp

Elon Musk’s Son, X Æ A-12

Football Team

(Category starts at 43:56)

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Weirdest Night For An NFL Game Award

Tuesday

Wednesday

Friday

Thursday

(Category starts at 49:13)

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Frank Fact Of The Year

It Takes 2 Years To Grow A Single Pineapple

A Whale’s Vagina Is The Size Of A Living Room

Our 10th President, John Tyler, born in 1970, Has Two Grandchildren That Are Still Living Today*

*-one has died since this Frank Fact was read

(Category starts at 52:42)

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Best Overall Hair/Beard In The Korked Bats Universe

A.D.

Grit

Carl from The Cineboiz

Austin

(Category starts at 57:39)

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Good News Of The Year

Vaccine announced

Keeping Up With The Kardashians is ending

Ultimate Tag on FOX has not been canceled… yet

(Category starts at 1:02:10)

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Dumb Social Experiment Candidate Of The Year

Danny Woodhead

J.J. Redick 

Kerri Walsh Jennings 

Lindsey Vonn 

A.J. Brown 

Kenyan Drake

(Category starts at 1:05:50)

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Most Likely To Succeed

Space-X

COVID-20

Crippling Depression

You

(Category starts at 1:12:39)

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Best Place To Hold A Press Conference And/Or Buy A Rake

Home Depot

Lowe’s

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

(Category starts at 1:17:43)

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Best Face Of The Year

Joe Kelly Boo-Boo Lip 

Michael Jordan’s “I took that personally” Face

Rob Lowe wearing an NFL hat 

Patrick Mahomes in a helmet

Andy Reid/Bill Belichick wearing a mask

(Category starts at 1:18:21)

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The Worst Of The Year

Fauci’s First Pitch

The Way Patrick Mahomes Looks In A Helmet

Bowdoin College Canceling Their Football Season

Kanye’s Presidential Run

People Who Say “We Did A Thing”

The XFL Folding

The pandemic

(Category starts at 1:20:07)

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The Korkie Of The Year

Will Compton

Taylor Swift

Ben DiNucci (aka The Noooooch!)

Allan Bell

Derrick Henry

Chris Evan’s peen

Brendan Fraser

Britney Spears

Mike Vrabel’s pooping son

Kevin Negandhi (The Junk Drawer’s mascot)

Braves Potato

Regis Philbin

the XFL

Nick Markakis

(Category starts at 1:21:29)

Congrats to all the nominees, and remember, if you don’t win, it’s still an honor just to be nominated.

On to 2021…

The post The 2020 Korkie Awards appeared first on Korked Bats.

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 11

We’re back with more information you probably don’t need if your fantasy team is performing well, but probably do need if your fantasy team sucks. Heed this advice. We’re not just doing this for our own sake. We’re doing this for you. It’s the most charitable thing we do here at Korked Bats. We could’ve volunteered to serve Thanksgiving dinner at a shelter, but we opted to give crappy fantasy advice on the internet instead. العاب ربح You’re welcome. Now utilize this info. There are starving people who will kill for this kind of info. ماهي لعبة الروليت

This week we highly suggest you do not start anyone trying to tackle Derrick Henry. The Tennessee Titans are playing the Baltimore Ravens this week, and as The #1 Derrick Henry Fan Site On The Internet, we feel the need to remind you of what happened the last time Derrick Henry took the field in Baltimore. It led to one of their players to get double-tapped in the back.

Which led to a downward spiral that not only got him caught being intimate with his brother, but also led to him failing to make an NFL roster this year. لعبة بلاك جاك تحميل

I know there aren’t many fantasy leagues who allow you to play individual defensive players, so maybe just don’t start the entire Ravens defense today. I’m just saying. The city of Baltimore is going to roped off as a murder scene – more than it already is – when Derrick Henry gets done today.

The post Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 11 appeared first on Korked Bats.

We got more junk this week, and it’s a lot of fun. Here are some of the top moments:

(9:22) – Since we definitely didn’t record this podcast before Monday Night Football, we give our complete breakdown of Chiefs-Ravens and every last thing that happened in the game.

(11:46) – The Good, The Back, & The Ugly is back for another week: Each guy gives you his good of the week, back of the week, and the ugly of the week. Including takes on D.K. Metcalf, Dion Waiters, Mike Leach, Earl Thomas, MLB Postseason, Vin Diesel’s new music and more.

(1:08:19) – This week’s FRANK FACT is about lobsters.

(1:00:49) – Austin got all 3 of his 3 for 3 picks correct for Week 3 (again) so he got 3 uninterrupted minutes to talk about whatever he wants. So he chose to finish his take on The Bachelor and used the remainder of his time to compare Friday Night Lights movie to TV show.

Listen on Apple Podcasts here

EP20: It’s Rivalry Week | RUNDOWN:

9:22 – Recap of Monday Night Football: Chiefs v. Ravens

11:46 – The Good, The Back & The Ugly – A.D.

27:55 – The Good, The Back & The Ugly – Grit

42:43 – The Good, The Back & The Ugly – Austin

59:00 – COFFEE BREAK

1:01:39 – The Is The Junk Drawer’s RIVALRY WEEK

1:08:19 – FRANK FACT

1:12:18 – Austin’s ‘3 Minutes’ on The Bachelor / Friday Night Lights

1:16:21 – 3 For 3: NFL Picks

The post The Junk Drawer: Mike Leach, Earl Thomas Is Back, & It’s Rivalry Week! appeared first on Korked Bats.

We got more junk this week, and it’s a lot of fun. Here are some of the top moments:

(1:31) – What to do when your wife wants you to cut your hair but you don’t want to?

(20:00) – Is Danny Woodhead our new BFF?

(48:27) – Wait. Is Robert Pattinson a good actor?

(1:03:15) – This week’s FRANK FACT is about outer space. Prepare to have your mind blown.

(1:10:22) – Meet our new friend the ???? #TakeSiren ????

Listen on Apple Podcasts here

EP15: Introducing The Take Siren| RUNDOWN:

1:31 – The Hair Dilemma

7:29 – Mamba Day: Our Favorite Kobe Bryant Memories

18:00 – Big Week For Korked Bats

20:00 – Danny Woodhead Is Awesome

30:00 – Earl Thomas Was Released

36:54 – JJ Watt MASSIVE NEWS: CFL QB McLeod Bethel-Thompson Is Opting Out

48:27 – The Batman Trailer: Is Robert Pattinson Good Again?

1:00:16 – COFFEE BREAK

1:03:15 – FRANK FACT

1:10:22 – Introducing The ???? #TakeSiren ???? 

1:20:42 – THE LIST: People Who Post “So We Did A Thing” Online

1:25:08 – THE LIST: New Gas Cans

1:27:29 – THE LIST: The Pre-Election Day Asteroid 

The post The Junk Drawer: Earl Thomas Released, A Major CFL Opt-Out, & Introducing The Take Siren appeared first on Korked Bats.

“Not much, just trying to find my other sock.” 

Earl Thomas recently had some news leak out via TMZ (uh-oh) about some alleged cheating/armed burglary involving his brother, wife Nina, two of Nina’s ride-or-die girlfriends, and some non-wives. Nina Thomas has been charged with first-degree felony burglary of a residence with intent to commit aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Earl’s wife, Nina, suspected something fishy and reportedly captured his whereabouts using his Snapchat. Once she pinged him at secret hideout (rental house), she grabbed her 2 besties, a Beretta 9 piece, did a few knuckle cracks and headed out ready to handle business a la Liam Neeson with a daughter who has been stolen for a 4^th time. Nina reportedly hit Earl a few times, pointed the gun at his head, and wrestled around with him as he tried to grab the gun away from her. What makes this story even more interesting is that part of it was captured on a cell phone camera. Hopefully whoever recorded went sideways, not vertical. Nina said she took the clip out of the gun and all she wanted to do was “scare” him. And it worked. Earl reportedly got so scared that he changed the password to his Snapchat account.

When asked for comment, Earl said, “It’s not really anybody’s business. It pisses me off that it got out, but it’s the world we live in today. But instead of talking about us, just keep us in y’alls prayers. Stuff like this happens.”

Thoughts and prayers, Earl.

Athletes cheating on their spouses is hardly a new thing. It’s a tale as old as time. Best believe George Mikan was telling his old lady that the girl who drops off the basket of peaches is just a friend. The lipstick on Babe Ruth’s shirt was “just ketchup from the hot dog I ate for breakfast.”

But what stands out in this story other than everything is bringing in the brother. Is this actually a normal thing that we are just now hearing about? Are Steph and Seth Curry going halfsies on a box of Trojans? Do Jim and Jon Harbaugh flip a coin to see who kicks off first? Are Pau and Marc Gasol conductors of the 14-foot Spain Train? I don’t know. I do know that Doug Bobbitt is probably glad he wasn’t very close with his brother.

This post was written by Steve. Follow him: @StevePHX 

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For more jokes at Earl Thomas’s expense…

The post Earl Thomas’s Brother Is What Makes A Weird Story Weirder appeared first on Korked Bats.

In the Tennessee Titans’ 28-12 win over the Baltimore Ravens in the Divisional Round of the AFC Playoffs, Derrick Henry put on a freaking show or a clinic, depending on how you want to say it. Actually, let’s go with show, because he sent people to the clinic with everything from bruised sternums, backs (especially in Earl Thomas’s case) and egos.

Enjoy this breakdown of the play that singlehandedly (no pun intended) turned Earl Thomas back into prepubescent childhood. He is now Earl Tommy.

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The post A Breakdown of Derrick Henry’s Earl Thomas Stiff Arm appeared first on Korked Bats.