Ben DiNucci isn’t just young, but he’s also really young. He’s a 23-year-old rookie who was drafted in the 7th round out of James Madison University. And this might come as a surprise (read: it won’t), but he’s the first JMU grad to start at quarterback in NFL history.

DiNucci’s so green, he’s still got a LinkedIn profile set up, in what I imagine to be the off-chance this whole pro football thing doesn’t work out. So in a way to learn more about DiNucci, we figured we’d pick apart his LinkedIn profile.

Header

DiNucci’s profile pic looks very professional, but that smirk on his face tells me he’s ready to get hired by some financial advisory firm, but spend 8 hours a day perusing Barstool while he should be managing your accounts.

Also, the lack of a banner image on his profile is a major red flag to prospective employers. Especially for someone his age. If a boomer lacks a banner image, I get it. But anyone who’s grown up in the digital age should never have a sparse portion of a profile. Sad.

Also, not to connection shame here, but only 151 connections? As the quarterback of an FCS powerhouse football program? Another bad sign. Not to go all Kevin Costner in Draft Day, but if no one’s showing up to his birthday party, he’s probably not a great leader.

Lastly, shout out Pittsburgh. I’m sure A.D. loves seeing that.

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About

First of all, my man really needs to update his About section. Currently a senior communications major? Um, try again, chief. Your currently the next man to get destroyed in the Final Destination movie that is the Cowboys’ quarterback room.

I also love his degree choices from JMU. They just scream, “I played college football.” You don’t get more generic than a senior comm major with a minor in general business. More impressive than general studies, I guess?

Another thing: it’s good he clarified that he played on the varsity football team. Does James Madison have a junior varsity team? Does any college have a J.V. team?

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Eduction

Ok, we get it Ben DiNucci. You went to James Madison. Jeeze, I can’t imagine James Madison bragging this much about James Madison University. And a stint at the University of Pittsburgh? Damn, A.D.’s really gonna love this guy. Hashtag hail to Pitt.

Love the fact that he volunteered with FCA on a trip to Haiti, but he better keep this intel private from Jerry Jones or he won’t be a Cowboy for very long. Jerry prefers his players to spend their free time getting into legal trouble, maybe by throwing their girlfriends onto futons full of guns.

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Skills & Endorsements

And there it is. Is it really a LinkedIn profile if you don’t mention that you’re prolific in Microsoft Word and Excel? No.

It’s also good to add that one of your skills is leadership. We were worried after the whole 151 connections thing. Ya know, Draft Day theory.

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Accomplishments & Interests

Ah, yes. Always important to list speaking English as an accomplishment. C’mon man. You’re a college graduate, not Brendan Fraser in Encino Man.

And again, once more for good measure, another reference to James Madison. Drink.

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Look, I’m not sure how the Ben DiNucci experiment is going to turn out in Dallas, but if it doesn’t work, at least he’s proficient in Microsoft Office.

The post Cowboys Are Starting *Checks Notes* Ben DiNucci At QB, So Let’s Break Down His LinkedIn Profile appeared first on Korked Bats.

If you’re a millennial like myself, I’m sure you’ve seen the stories or the headlines about the croptop killer himself, Ezekiel Elliott.

The Cowboys rewarded him after they saw these headlines with a 6-year, $90 million contract. Certainly I agree, Zeke is a top-tier running back, I think we can all agree that he is not “the best”. Why? Well, for one, this is The #1 Derrick Henry Fan Site On The Internet, so you know our answer. But two, his fumble-rooskis as of late. Zeke has a bit of a fumbling problem. He coughs up the football enough to make you think his hands have COVID. He fumbled twice just last game against the Cardinals, once against the Browns, and twice against the Falcons. But maybe. JUST maybe… there is a method to Zeke’s madness.

Hear me out.

Before Dak went down, Zeke already had 3 fumbles. Yeah, I know he may have recovered one of those, but it helps prove my point even further. Honestly ask yourself, would you want to be playing with Andy Dalton as your quarterback? Or better yet, would you want to be playing in the NFC East? Or even better, would you want Jerry Jones writing your paychecks? Zeke could be trying to “fumble” his way out of Dallas.

What better way to get yourself traded than turning the ball over. Zeke has already been doing a damn good job of that this season, so now he plans to pile it on. You can already see the Cowboys regretting giving him that massive contract. After he gave the ball up twice to the Cardinals Sunday, Zeke looked like a lost puppy on the sidelines. The saddest part about the Cowboys being 2-4 is the fact that they’re currently a half game out of first in the NFC East, so they might not necessarily be in a position to trade Zeke, but he is certainly doing his part in attempting to get traded. It could be Genius.

Who wouldn’t want to trade for Zeke? He’s the (second) best back in the league.

The post Could Ezekiel Elliott Be Fumbling On Purpose? appeared first on Korked Bats.

For a man of very few words, Bill Belichick had some VERY high praise for Main man Mixon after a Patriots game vs the Bengals last year. Keep in mind this was an Andy Dalton-led Bengals team. Before the world graced their eyes on this Joe(Burrow)-to-Joe(Mixon) connection.

For a Coach of very few words to compliment a player like that makes you realize Joe Mixon is different. In fact, Bill Belichick said far less in his Subway commercial than he did about Joe Mixon as a player.

Joe Mixon proved validity to Belichick’s words on Sunday. Joe went absolutely OFF, and had his best statistical game ever, recording 151 rushing yards and 2 tuddy’s while adding 30 yards and another tuddy in the passing game.

You may be asking, what could possibly make this stat line crazier? Maybe the fact that Mixon spent 3 hours in the hospital the day before. Mixon said that he “slept wrong” and felt like something was “squeezing.” Perhaps Mixon should sleep wrong every weekend because he was able to squeeze out nearly 200 all-purpose yards.

You could say it was a sigh of relief for Bengals fans, because Mixon had yet to find the end zone in 2020 prior to Sunday’s game against the Jaguars. Not to mention the fact that Mixon just signed a 4 year contract extension before the start of the season.

It’s hard to believe that this is just Joe’s 4th year in the league. It could have something to do with his former quarterback Andy Dalton leading the first three teams. I feel like Joe aged in NFL dog years during his time with Andy. Maybe all Joe needed was another Joe on the team to give him that spark that he needed. The icing on the cake for Mixon: he helped his rookie quarterback get his first NFL win.

The post A.D.’s Crown Of The Week Goes To Joe appeared first on Korked Bats.

So what did those texts say? We’ve got them right here.

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The post A Look At The Texts Andy Dalton Sent Dak Prescott After Joining The Cowboys appeared first on Korked Bats.