With the breaking news that came yesterday regarding Florida head coach Urban Meyer’s decision to retire, many of us couldn’t help but to think back to this time last year when Urban Meyer announced his retirement.  Well, that announcement was called off within 24 hours when he changed his plans and decided to take a leave of absence instead of calling it off for good.

Everyone is asking the same question- With the controversy surrounding him, should Cam Newton win the Heisman?  But they are also asking why Urban Meyer is struggling with his decision to retire.  There are countless rumors flooding message boards, but Korked Bats can only take 2 of them seriously.  Educate yourself-

Meyer is modeling his behavior after his favorite NFL player- This is one of the more popular theories floating around the inter-webs.  This one started with Meyer while he was hanging out with some of his current players.  He noticed that so many of his players’ behavior is modeled after their favorite players. Carlos Dunlap is a huge Dante Stallworth fan, which led him to his arrest for driving while intoxicated.  John Brantley’s favorite player is Alex Smith, which led to him being in and out of the roster, and throwing an ungodly amount of interceptions. كيف تربح في لعبة الروليت   I know what you’re thinking “what does this have to do with Urban Meyer? 1xbet عربي  ” Well, Urban Meyer is a long time Brett Farve fan.  Meyer is showing behavior patterns almost identical to Favre. تعليم لعبة البوكر   For his second year in a row, Meyer is announcing his retirement.  For obvious reasons this theory is fueling the fire for psychologist looking to prove the impact that professional athletes have on not only children, but adults.

Once you go Tebow, you don’t go back- It is very easy to see Meyer is not the same coach, or person, with out his beloved Tim Tebow.  Even Meyer’s wife has reached out to the Bronco’s wild-cat specialist.  After trying out multiple psychologists, they have all agreed on his problem and are using a popular analogy: Once you experience Tim Tebow he leaves a hole in your heart. People will try to fit lots of different things into that hole, but the hole is in a perfect Tim Tebow shape.  Anything short of Tim Tebowing returning to your life, and filling the hole in your heart, will leave you dissatisfied.

Some people are choosing to believe Meyer’s reason to retire- so that he can spend more time with his family.  But let me remind you, he coaches in the SEC, where scandal reigns supreme and no one is honest.

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You read it right.  Tonight the Ohio native will be returning to his home state to play against his former team for the first time since the betrayal, errr the decision. Everyone has been speculating all week of what will happen when LeBron takes the court for the first time.

The consensus seems to be this: Cleveland hates LeBron more than Derek Anderson hates being asked about smiling. Some people are even fearing possible violent scenario’s.  I for one think that it is ridiculous, and am here to explain why violent scenario’s at the game tonight should not be a concern for anyone.

A source in Cleveland is reporting that a fan has threatened to bring a knife into the stadium. Impossible! When LeBron made his decision to “take his talents to South Beach” he planted the knife so deep into the back of Cleveland fans, there is no way they would be able to have it removed this soon.  Not only that but there is not enough room for two superstars turned stab victims in this league.  Sorry Lebron, but Paul Pierce was here first!

A second source has reported a group of fans that are planning on bringing batteries, to throw, into the stadium.  What is this, 1994?  Sorry folks, but reusable energy is the answer, and  I just don’t see how they would be able to sneak in solar panels!  In today’s culture I don’t know if anyone is brave enough to be seen with batteries.  It is our children’s future that is in jeopardy!  I understand that Cleveland fans hate Lebron, but is their hate for King James stronger than their hope for their children’s future?  Cleveland should be able to recognize that hope is the only thing LeBron ever gave Cleveland fans.  High expectations with brutal results. Last time I checked, Brian Scalabrine has more rings than LeBron.

LeBron James made the Cavaliers a relevant basketball team.  But he also delivered expectations so high, that when there was no deliverance of results it was a long way down for Cleveland fans.  And if I am a Cavaliers fan, the most depressing thing about tonight’s game is this: the loudest Quicken Loans Arena will be all year is when all the fans sell out the stadium to boo a former player.  No offense to their “All Star” point guard Mo Williams.

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