Lebron Is Taking His Talents… Back To Cleveland?

You read it right.  Tonight the Ohio native will be returning to his home state to play against his former team for the first time since the betrayal, errr the decision. Everyone has been speculating all week of what will happen when LeBron takes the court for the first time.

The consensus seems to be this: Cleveland hates LeBron more than Derek Anderson hates being asked about smiling. Some people are even fearing possible violent scenario’s.  I for one think that it is ridiculous, and am here to explain why violent scenario’s at the game tonight should not be a concern for anyone.

A source in Cleveland is reporting that a fan has threatened to bring a knife into the stadium. Impossible! When LeBron made his decision to “take his talents to South Beach” he planted the knife so deep into the back of Cleveland fans, there is no way they would be able to have it removed this soon.  Not only that but there is not enough room for two superstars turned stab victims in this league.  Sorry Lebron, but Paul Pierce was here first!

A second source has reported a group of fans that are planning on bringing batteries, to throw, into the stadium.  What is this, 1994?  Sorry folks, but reusable energy is the answer, and  I just don’t see how they would be able to sneak in solar panels!  In today’s culture I don’t know if anyone is brave enough to be seen with batteries.  It is our children’s future that is in jeopardy!  I understand that Cleveland fans hate Lebron, but is their hate for King James stronger than their hope for their children’s future?  Cleveland should be able to recognize that hope is the only thing LeBron ever gave Cleveland fans.  High expectations with brutal results. Last time I checked, Brian Scalabrine has more rings than LeBron.

LeBron James made the Cavaliers a relevant basketball team.  But he also delivered expectations so high, that when there was no deliverance of results it was a long way down for Cleveland fans.  And if I am a Cavaliers fan, the most depressing thing about tonight’s game is this: the loudest Quicken Loans Arena will be all year is when all the fans sell out the stadium to boo a former player.  No offense to their “All Star” point guard Mo Williams.