Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

March Madness ≠ Charlie Sheen


If you are awake and Googling your name, like I often do late at night, I hope you stumble across this letter.  I’ve written this letter to you because I have a few questions that I don’t feel like you’ve been asked yet and because I have always been better at writing letters than actually talking to people face to face (ask any boy I’ve ever almost dated) (or had a crush on) (or dated).  Right now you are talking to a lot of people, so I am crossing my fingers for a chance with you.

Question Number 1:

Did you or did you not model your role in Hot Shots Part Deux after A.C. Slater?

Question Number 2:

Did you and Tom Cruise plan this?

Question Number 3:

Do you feel like an advocate for kids with glasses to also be athletes, like Dave Collins was?

Question Number 4:

Was this during your “I wish I was born Johnny Depp” phase?

And lastly, Question Number 5:

Charlie, are you keeping up with your dental hygiene these days? Grandma is concerned. Although it doesn’t look like she is too concerned…

Charlie Sheen, this is only the beginning of a beautiful interview.  Please get your people to get in touch with my people.  We can and will plan a time to sit down and talk about you being a robot and or some other kind of mythical creature.  Please know that I am sitting around dreaming up more tough questions for you to answer so whenever you are ready to make this official say the word. I am giving you two weeks, if I don’t hear from you, I’ll know your answer. #Winning #TigerBlood

Sincerely Always Forever,


0 thoughts on “March Madness ≠ Charlie Sheen

  • Avatar
    March 3, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    Preach! You let that ca-razy man have it! Somebody need tuh lock him up! I kno das rite!

  • Avatar
    March 3, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    oh. my. word.

    you pulled out the big guns with ferris bueller and johnny depp. wow.

    those are the only questions i’ve ever wanted to know, so i hope you get your interview. if not, ask jimmy fallon. i hear he’s pretty much nailed it.

  • Avatar
    March 3, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    I tried to watch his interview two nights ago…I had to turn it off! The man is in total denial about who he is! I really do like the show, Two and a Half Men, though…very funny! Hope he answers your questions…can’t wait for the next round! tee hee!


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