If you’ve clicked on this blog, I’ve already got you further than I expected. For whatever reason, the XFL hasn’t jumped out to solid ratings like it did in its last two iterations. But I’m here to tell you, it should. Because what the XFL is doing now is what the NFL will (and should) be doing in a few years.

Korked Bats hyping the XFL isn’t anything new. We were big on the XFL 2.0 just three years ago (shout-out to that engaged couple, hope their relationship lasted longer than the league). Hell, personally I’ve been in on the league since XFL 1.0 (shout-out Tommy Maddox). I might be the only person you know who played XFL Fantasy. I was certainly not the He in He Hate Me, because I Loved Him and everything about the XFL. It also helped that first iteration of the league launched at the height of my Attitude Era love for the WWE.

And look, my love for the XFL wasn’t just rubbed off adoration from my passion for watching Mankind, D-Generation X, and Sable (hubba, hubba). Sure it may have started there, but by actually watching the sport, I noticed they did so many things different from the boring and safe NFL. And many of the things they introduced in their first broadcasts are now mainstays in NFL broadcasts today.

The XFL gave us:

• the first ever skycam
• cameramen walking on the field for the first time
• in-game interviews
• football in both Los Angeles and Vegas

And now they’re continuing their innovation with things that would be unheard of in NFL broadcasts… at least for now. Like in-game interviews with players and coaches, mic’d up players AND coordinators, scorebugs that provide betting lines, and most importantly, full transparency into their replay booth.

Titans fans sure would appreciate this after the non-fumble fumble by Josh Dobbs that cost them a division title. No way they reviewed such a pivotal play in such short amount of time. PEOPLE DON’T FORGET, ROGER! But I digress.

Plus, I don’t know if you know this, but the X in XFL stands for X-treme. Which is exactly what this league is. I mean, AJ McCarron and Ben DiNucci squaring off in a Week 2 Thursday Night matchup? NOTHING SCREAMS X-TREME QUITE LIKE THE NOOCH! A game in which, I watched. And let me tell you, it was fun as hell. I’ve never done cocaine, but I no longer need to after last night. It was like snorting a bump while watching a Jet Li movie and listening to The Chemical Brothers. The most fun I’ve had watching a Thursday Night football game since the Titans and Jaguars rocked Color Rush Unis wearing baby blue and baby poop.

Why do I keep referencing the Titans and Jaguars in this XFL blog? Well, I think that kinda answers itself. But the XFL game I watched last night was hella fun, and with the XFL’s scoring system – going for your choice of 1, 2, OR THREE (!) after touchdowns – makes fewer games out of reach in the closing minutes. Just ask the St. Louis Battlehawks (KaKaw!). They trailed 15-3 with 90 seconds left in Week 1. And they won that game. Without Patrick Mahomes, either. Imagine the rush you felt watching that Bills-Chiefs Divisional Round game from last year, and just mix in AJ McCarron. Oh hell yeah. I can already feel your veins pulsating. And in last night’s AJ McCarron special, there were like 3 lead changes in the final 7 minutes too. CHOP IT UP ONTO A MIRROR!

And look, I know… The XFL, in its first week, did not do well in the ratings department. Leading many to dawg on it and not give it a chance. Popular opinion still plays in people’s TV choices. But trust me, the XFL is worth the watch. When football went away after the Super Bowl, we all got sad. Our football high was gone. And here the XFL is offering us not just a needle, but a rubberband to tie our arm with. And you wanna turn them down? Why? One… Is this or is this not the XFL? Yes, it is. Two… Do you or do you not currently have a pulse? Yes, you do. Let’s watch some XFL.

The post The XFL Is Actually Fun, You Guys appeared first on Korked Bats.

I went on the radio in Nashville yesterday (as I do every Monday – not to brag), to share a few takes, one of which this week was about the 3 things I hope The Rock does with his recent purchase of the XFL. If you know Korked Bats, you know this is a big XFL blog. We love it. I even had the opportunity to go to a game BEFORE it folded for a second time – again, not to brag. I even got to witness a couple get engaged at the game. (Side note: there’s not a chance that engagement is still on. Not just because of the global pandemic, but because they got engaged at a freaking XFL game!) Anyways, the three things I’m gonna need The Rock to change with this XFL reboot are…

1. bring back names on the jerseys
2. give us new names of the current teams
3. make fighting legal

To hear my reasons for each, check out the video above. The end of my hit also includes a quick take on the St. Louis Cardinals going to a casino during a global pandemic like a bunch of morons. Check it out.

P.S. Thanks to the 3HL boys and 104.5 The Zone for having me on. Always a fun time on that station.

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The post 3 Things The Rock Needs To Change With His XFL Reboot appeared first on Korked Bats.

SOURCE – As the bankrupt XFL looks for a buyer, the buyer could be its founder.

Via Daniel Kaplan of TheAthletic.com, XFL creditors “seem to believe” McMahon is positioning to buy the league out of bankruptcy. Separately, XFL president Jeffrey Pollack has contacted stadiums in Seattle and St. Louis about reinstating the league’s lease agreements.

Actually, it’s probably more like this…

You hear that? It’s a pulse. Grab the paddles. Turn on the defibrillator. We’re brining this bad boy back to life. If you don’t know how to read between the lines and/or read at all, this is basically hinting at the fact that XFL might not be dead afterall.

If that’s McMahon’s plan, and if it succeeds, he’d have to rebuild the league from the ground up, re-hiring coaches and players and others necessary to running the league. Anyone who previously worked for the league and was stiffed in any way may not be inclined to return (most notably, Oliver Luck won’t be back as the Commissioner), but if folks want to work in football and unless they’ve landed in the NFL, it’s not as if they have many alternatives.

You thought Vince McMahon was done trying to make the XFL work? Clearly you don’t know Vince McMahon. This is a guy who literally showed a nervous Rob Gronkowski how to do a stage dive firsthand in rehearsals for Wrestlemania 36. Vince McMahon is 74-years-old.

Plus, you really think a league that re-spawned 20 years after it’s first go around was really dead for good? This is less shocking than the killer in a slasher movie always getting one last burst of life after being killed. As long as it’s owner is stage diving, the XFL will still be kicking.

This isn’t your grandpa’s spring professional football league startup. This is the XFL and THE X IS FOR XTREME! And what’s more Xtreme than faking your own death? Another thing Vince McMahon has done before.

This news is incredible, and a total WWE move. If it’s scripted, I don’t care. All I care about is that the XFL coming back in some way, shape or form. If you’ve been reading Korked Bats for a while, you know this is a HUGE XFL house.

Not to mention this league gave us one of the more awkward moments of 2020…

Let it be known that this league didn’t fail because it was unsuccessful. This league failed because a global pandemic outbreak halfway into it’s first season. The XFL was very successful and even thrived in two of the eight markets, Seattle and St. Louis. Seattle, of course, already having a pro football team. It thrived because it was entertaining, it was creative, and it knew exactly what it was. And it had talent. Obviously, two of the eight quarterbacks in the league got picked up by NFL teams, and a bunch of others used to be on NFL teams.

In fact, I went to a St. Louis Battlehawks–Seattle Dragons game this year. Yup, that’s right. I will one day tell my grandkids that I was one of the lucky few who went to an XFL game in 2020. But kidding aside, the atmosphere felt like a playoff game. A playoff game with only the lower bowl sold because of league rules. It was electric.

The XFL wasn’t the NFL. And that’s ok. In fact, it’s kind of what made it awesome. So please bring it back. Hell, bring it back right now. What’s more Xtreme than playing full-contact football in the middle of a global pandemic?

The post In The Most Vince McMahon Move Possible… THE XFL AIN’T DEAD YET! appeared first on Korked Bats.

Wow. An XFL stadium proposal? When Vince McMahon promised x-treme football, he wasn’t kidding. This wasn’t just a stadium proposal. This wasn’t just an XFL stadium proposal. This was an XFL stadium proposal after the jumbotron shell game.

The St. Louis Battlehawks are known for many firsts. They’re the first team to run the awkwardly lined-up kickoffs back for a touchdown.

They’re the first to try and recreate the Bills Mafia tailgates before their own games. And they’re the first to have an in-game proposal. *sigh

You can break down this beautiful and equally tragic moment down into four moments…

The guy gets to finally implement the engagement he had been planning for weeks. And no, that’s not a typo, because there’s not a chance this dude thought up this plan for longer than that. In fact, he was probably watching the opening week of the XFL with his bros and thought aloud, “You know, I think I’m gonna ask my girl (let’s call her Amber) to be my wife at the Battlehawks game in a few weeks.” To which the other bro’s said, “DO IT, DUDE!” as they cheers’d their Natty Lights.

The girl, Amber, nuzzles her face into his chest to hide the sheer terror look in her face. “I hope this doesn’t make it onto the TV broadcast,” she thinks to herself.

While those may seem to be tears of joy, they’re actually just legitimate tears, because she just got proposed to at a freaking XFL game. Now she has to think of a lie about how she got engaged to tell for the rest of her life, because there is no humanly possible way she can make “in between the third and fourth quarters on the jumbotron at the Battlehawks-Dragons game” sound romantic. Hell, this wasn’t even the FIRST Battlehawks home game. It was the second.

But hey, at least they got to hold up this punny sign playing off of the Battlehawks’ official team hashtag: #ClearedToEngage. Look, I have an unhealthy obsession with puns and yet this still makes me cringe.

Why?

It’s not that a majority of women don’t like stadium proposals. It’s that they DESPISE them. I thought this was supposed to be universally known for all men, kind of like how you never pee in a urinal directly next to another man unless you absolutely have to.

Women dream of two things since the moment they slide out of their mama’s womb: 1. their wedding day, and 2. how they get proposed to. I can assure you of the 4.5 billion women (rough estimate) on planet earth right now, not a single one of them dreamt of being asked to marry the love of their life at a Seattle Dragons-St. Louis Battlehawks XFL game.

I mean, could you even imagine?

One day after 1st grade, Samantha, Bridgette, and Dana are having a tea party (or whatever young girls do) in their room when the topic of getting engaged comes up. Samantha says she hopes to get engaged in a hot air balloon made of flowers, Bridgette says she hopes to get engaged on a cruise ship made of flowers, and Dana says she hopes to get engaged at a Battlehawks-Dragons game. “What even is that?” the other girls ask. “It’s the XFL, an extreme football league that will start in 2000, last only one season, end, then be revived twenty years later.” The other girls will then choose to go home and ask their parents to never set up a playdate with Dana ever again.

Let’s take this hypothetical even further.

How in the hell will these two explain this to their children one day? Like I’d rather have the birds and the bee’s talk with my kids than try to explain what the XFL was and how mommy and daddy got engaged at one of their games.

In the power rankings of places women want to get engaged, it goes:

1. in front of The Eiffel Tower

2. top of the Empire State Building (thank Sleepless in Seattle for this one)

3. the Grand Canyon

4. on a secluded island in the Caribbean

5. literally anywhere else

…and now, here are the bottom five:

996. a Wal-Mart parking lot

997. in the movie theater after seeing Requiem For A Dream

998. over FaceTime while you’re at Coachella and she’s in the hospital having her gall bladder removed

999. your ex’s house

1,000. an XFL game, right after the jumbotron shell game

So if you’re a D.C. Defenders or Tampa Bay Vipers fan in a steady relationship that’s ready to take it to the next level, maybe leave that ringbox at home and opt for the hot air balloon or cruise ship made of flowers.

The post We Had Our First XFL Stadium Engagement And Congrats To The Soon-To-Be Broken Up Couple! appeared first on Korked Bats.