Zumba = Sports?

Have you heard of the newest exercise craze? It’s jazzercise’s way more hip, Latin cousin that goes by the name Zumba. My roommates and I have been Zumba’s faithful followers for the last few years and we have seen our athletic abilities on and off the dance floor shoot through the roof. I have ignored the scoffing looks for long enough from the marathon runners or the members of the boot camp classes and I think it’s time I explain why the heck Zumba is a vital part of every serious athlete’s workout regiment.

1. Zumba teaches you to be light on your feet. Some of those samba and mamba moves will save you from being tackled by the opposing teams very large defense.  A little spin move or grapevine could get you that first down that you have been looking for.

2. Zumba helps you get really good at smiling while you are working out. This comes in handy when you are looking through all of the packs of baseball cards and basketball cards. People want to see a face that is working hard, but that is also happy.

3. It is important to be confident at parties. As athletes, you will be invited to many dance parties. You will be “cool” and you don’t want that image to be shattered when you hit the dance floor.

4. When you do your victory dance, people should want to watch it on repeat. And it is also important to coordinate some moves with your fellow team mates. It builds team morale and then you have a flash mob ready to go when someone gives the word. And they will give the word.

5.  Zumba helps work on flexibility and that will always come in handy in slam dunk competitions. Among other sorts of things.

6. Zumba will also help you lose excess fat that is making your body less attractive, but more suited for sports that places like Japan primarily offer:

7. Learning new routines is just like learning to run plays from the play book. You learn the play slow.  You study it.  You memorize it.  You practice it.  And then, if you mess up, you look like an idiot, but you will hopefully never forget about the time you almost ruined everything.

This is a start on the case for athletes and Zumba. If only these athletes would stop worrying so much about “training camp” and “two-a-days” and focus more on Latin and hip hop dance routines, I think sports would be more interesting to watch. At least, athletes would be more fun at dance parties. Sheesh.