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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

You Mess With Bonnie, You Mess With All Of Us

If Bonnie burst into my living room and said, “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later. And we’re gonna hurt some people.” I’d pause for a brief moment and say, “Who’s car we gonna take?”

Serious question: can a 75-year-old woman not go to Mariano’s without simultaneously contracting COVID-19 and getting hit with political conspiracy theories anymore? Sheesh.

Ol’ Bonners was just trying to grab a bite to go while covering her face when she got blindsided by some nasty woman who I’m going to assume was named Karen (no offense to Karens). However, if there’s two things I’ve learned during this entire global pandemic, it’s: 1. what social distancing means, and 2. don’t step to BonBon, or she will drop you. Did you know she’s from Chicago? From the way she’s talking, I’m guessing South Side.

And God bless Bonnie’s daughter who is fighting on the front lines of this war against COVID. While she’s kicking ‘rona ass, her mom is kicking bleach blond 50-year-old ass. All Americans should carry the spirit of LeBon Jane and her family.

Also, I’m not one to get political. Ever. But I have to ask, how can someone still be in the “this is all a political hoax” camp, when the President has come out and acknowledged how serious of a threat coronavirus is? Shouldn’t that have put the political hoax argument to bed? Or is he IN on the political hoax too? Oh damn. That’s deep. DEEP STATE if you ask me!

But for real, do people just stop watching news and press briefings after they have the argument they want to go with? Flat-earth truthers think those people need to read up on new facts and evidence surrounding the matter. Try telling a loved one of a person who passed away from coronavirus that this is all a political hoax. Bet you can’t.

People, don’t act this way to others. This is a sucky ass time for ALL OF US. Let’s not make it suckier. Have compassion, sympathy and selflessness for others – despite what you think about this virus.

With that said, God bless you too, Bonners. We love you too.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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