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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

You Let Us All Down, Duke’s Mayo Bowl

I’m not going to sugar coat it. Today has been a very emotional day. As today should’ve been the day of the 2020 Belk Bowl. However, as I’m sure you remember, Belk did not re-up the deal, causing the Belk Bowl to fold. It was a devastating day. I’m sure we all remember where we were when we heard the news. In fact, we put together a tribute video in honor of college football’s greatest bowl.

Shortly after, the Belk Bowl announced it will now be the Duke’s Mayo Bowl. Which is ok, I guess. It still needs to grow on me. While I enjoy the idea of a college football bowl game being named after mayonnaise, it still carries the weight of a step-dad trying to come in and be a part of the family right away. You’ll never be my real dad, Duke’s Mayo Bowl!

But I will admit, they came out strong today. Ahead of Wisconsin and Wake Forest kicking off in this year’s classic, Duke’s Mayo Bowl tweeted the following:

Hmmm… Ok, ok. Maybe I was quick to write off Duke’s Mayo Bowl. Is this tweet cryptic? Sure. But it’s also hella exciting. WHAT’S IN THE COOLER?! *Brad Pitt voice* It’s gotta be mayonnaise right? I mean, what else could it be? And if it wasn’t why would they even go to the effort of setting up this picture and tweeting it? Plus, in just about every bowl game prior, we’ve seen them adapt to this somewhat tacky, but also very funny tradition.

So naturally, we’re going to get some smooth and creamy mayonnaise being dumped over the head of whoever wins this game, right? We’re gonna be given a mayonnaise shower, right? Mayo’s gonna be dripping down this coach like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man was just blown up in front of him, right? Yeah, you’d think.

But apparently Duke’s Mayo Bowl did the unthinkable: they filled their water cooler with… water. What the hell?!

How are you going to tease us with the idea of a head coach essentially getting Nickelodeon slimed with white creamy mayo and then just go with the very cliché, bland, and literally tasteless water? I mean, now that I think about it, all water at this bowl game should be replaced with mayo. Water bottles for the players? Boom, now they’re mayo bottles. Sprinklers for the stadium’s grass? Boom, now mayo makes the grass grow. Fans in the stands want beer? Sorry, all we got is cans of mayo or mayo lite.

After the game, it also kinda felt like Duke’s Mayo Bowl was mocking us.

Look, it appears Duke’s Mayo Bowl social team is the same group (or person) who ran Belk Bowl’s (RIP in peace) social media, in which case, this is very good news because Belk Bowl was one of the best follows on Twitter – and it was a damn bowl game. They know what they’re doing. They’re very good at their jobs. But I still gotta call foul here. You can’t bait and switch the public like that unless you’re Jimmy Kimmel or Ashton Kutcher or something. GIVE US OUR MAYO!

We were all rooting for you gif 11 » GIF Images Download

After the game, while Wisconsin was celebrating their big (and dry) 42-28 win, they broke the trophy.

So, look… not to go all Bret Beilema’s wife, but…

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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