Yes, Baseball’s Back… But Without Mascots

In a move that can only be described as so dumb only the powers that be in baseball could think of it, mascots have been banned from the field of play for the 60 game season.

This is ridiculous for a number of reasons. First, mascots are in suits that prevent the transmission of any type of disease. If Mr. Met sneezes, his germs are concealed within his weird baseball-headed body. Also, you’ve already put baseball fans through misery with your bullshit negotiations, and when I say that, I’m looking directly at the owners. “Wahh wahh, the billionaires didn’t make a profit for a year!” Let me pull out the world’s smallest violin. These assholes want us to feel sorry for them, and then take away the in-between-inning fun? Burn in hell, MLB owners.

I think I speak for a good proportion of people right now when I say I don’t miss baseball, I miss going to games. I miss going down to the stadium with your friends and family on a weekend afternoon, drinking in the parking lot before hand and taking pictures with the mascot as it walks the aisles of the stadium.

The owners have gone too far this time. Let me explain something, I care a lot less about Bryce Harper drawing a walk than the Phanatic drawing a reaction out of the Freddie Freeman. People will look back at the ignorance the owners showed throughout this whole process, and banning mascots from the field might be seen as the dagger that killed America’s Pastime.

If mascots can’t hit the field, here’s hoping they bring one of those whipped-cream pies or buckets of confetti up to the owner’s suites to throw at those bratty billionaires.

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