Yankees Fans To Also Occupy Wall Street

A spokesperson for the New York Yankees Fans Across America (NYYFAA) has announced that they will be joining the protestors on Wall Street until their team wins another World Series.

“We’re tired of acting like the best but not actually being the best,” said one discontented fan. He hadn’t actually been to any games this season due to high ticket prices, but he assured us that he’s been a fan since they won the world series back in 2009.

“I’ll still wear my Yankees hat in public” said the fan “but it’s only because Jay-Z made it more about fashion than baseball.”

News of the new protests has inspired protests in other entitled sports cities as well, such as Boston.

The following quote is from a Boston native and life-long Red Sox fan. It will be translated into actual English by our clam chowder translator:

“The Sawx sucked wicked haud this yeahr.”

Translation: The [Red] Sox did not have a very good season this year.

“It’s time we stood up for ah rights as Bahstin fans.”

Translation: We assume that, as Boston fans, we’re entitled to wins, but really we’re just spoiled cry-babies.

On the other end of the spectrum, there’s cities like Chicago and Kansas City. In these cities, where professional sports teams have become notorious for underachieving, nothing has changed… Nothing at all. But fans continue to somehow remain confident that next year will be their year.

With all of these new protests popping up across the country, it’s surprising how little media coverage they’ve received.

We asked the head of march and protest reporting over at CNN why so little attention is being paid to these recent events, and here’s what he had to say:

“It’s baseball season?”

Once again, where major media falls short Korked Bats is there, in the trenches, representing the voice of the common man and sports fan.

March hard Yankees fans, it’s going to be a cold off-season.

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