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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Why My Friend Sean Shouldn’t Hate Tim Tebow

I figured I’d dedicate today’s post to a topic that hasn’t been remotely touched by most of the popular sports media outlets. لعبة بلاك جاك مجانية  This man is so grossly overlooked that even his parents forgot he existed. You might have never even heard his name, to be honest. I’m going to talk about a quarterback named Tim Tebow. لعبة مباشر

Ok, so that was a joke. SportsCenter has been dedicating entire hours of their show to Tebow. He’s on every major channel, radio station, and web site. People cannot stop talking about him. The other day, SportsCenter’s Twitter account asked followers “why do you find Tim Tebow so popular and polarizing?” Instead of giving you my answer to that question (which is a. He does things that our logical brains believe to be impossible and b. the Man he worships was more popular and polarizing… wait, I just gave you my opinion, dang it!) I want to address the people who loathe Mr. Tebow, specifically my buddy Sean.

In my opinion, people who hate Tim Tebow are as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, or one of Tebow’s passes either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

I have a lame (duck) friend named Sean who used to be a Tim Tebow hater, and by “used to be,” I really mean, still is a Tim Tebow hater. لعبه bingo He hates the coverage he gets for doing something rather average. He hates that one person can represent millions of believers. I had hoped Tebow would grow on Sean like a colony of E. Coli on some room-temperature Canadian beef, but it just didn’t happen.

I try and tell him that Tebow is special, he’s different. It’s not about what we can understand or comprehend- but apparently that’s not enough. I try and explain that Tebow speaks with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. But Sean just won’t listen.

And here we stand at the end of the week, an epic battle before us. The pass-first Patriots and their #1 seed versus the Denver Tebows. It seems like a match-up of destiny- the teams are set to dash toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.  But what will be the result of this collision? Sean and I will be eagerly watching and rooting for our respective trains.

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This post was created by Bryce. You can follow him on Twitter: @brycestuck

Also, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes on Twitter: @korkedbats

Bryce would definitely wants to give credit to this site for inspiring some of the jokes in the post.

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