I always wondered why guys like sports so much. Like, to not just enjoy watching a game or two, but to emotionally invest in teams. Buying clothes to match their team, playing fantasy football, making their other friends come over to watch games together, making their girlfriend or sister name their top three defensive players in the SEC, and then making said girl also come up with their picks for who will make it into the NFL from college.
Then I saw the most guy magical thing happen in the line at Subway and it all started making sense…
Let me paint the picture. Subway. 9:30 at night. Guy behind me in line seems to be pretty full of himself and he was wearing a scarf. Those two things don’t normally go hand in hand. He also kept humming, the Adam Lambert smash hit, Whattya Want From Me.
In comes this dad and son combo. Dad is wearing a sweatshirt and baseball hat and his son was about 7-years-old.
Now, the announcement had just been made about the winner of the Heisman Trophy (definition of the Heisman Trophy as best as I can decide is: it’s the “you are the best college football player there is this year” award) and here we all were standing in line. It usually takes me quite a while in the Subway line because of the large quantity of vegetables that I require the sandwich artist to throw rambunctiously onto my bread. To pass the time in the line, the dad decides to go out on a limb and ask about who won the Heisman.
This lit up the face of the scarf guy. He whipped out his iPhone and started talking on and on about RG III (Pronounced R-Gee-3). The dad and the scarf were all like, “He’s not the best football player, but he is the most valuable player for Baylor.” And the little boy in line just tried to get his dad’s attention so he could help open his apple slices.
The two men even said goodbye to each other when the scarf was walking out of the Subway.
This is why men love sports. They have their own thing to talk about. Secretly they love to be line talkers, but they don’t want to sound lame. They want to have more to discuss than the weather. Though some start there. They want to be in on the conversations. They want a thing.
So, I decided that I would rather play fantasy football then Farmville or Mafia Wars. I would rather buy clothes that match your teams favorite colors instead of buying Ed Hardy shirts. I would rather try and think of three defensive players to put in your top three list instead of playing the name your favorite Victoria Secret model. In fact, I would even prefer to have all the guys I know invite guys over to watch sports then to play Lord of the Rings Risk. Am I right ladies?
So, ladies, don’t ask questions when it comes to sports. Just be glad it isn’t so. many. other. things.
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This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.
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