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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Who NOT To Start – Week 8

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You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 8

When playing fantasy football, it’s easy to get caught up in ticky-tack things. If a player has one good week, you feel the pressure to start him thinking he’ll do it again soon. “Billy Volek put up over 400 yards in two straight weeks! He’s going to be the next Tom Brady, you watch!” Needless to say, Billy Volek did not become the next Tom Brady. At times, you’ll feel pressure to start someone just because of the team they play for. You’ll think, “Ben Garland plays for the Denver Broncos, so he must be good,” completely negating the fact that he’s the backup left guard. “Yeah, but he could catch a deflected Peyton Manning pass and run it for a touchdown!” He won’t.

Tagalongs

Tagalongs 2So with that said, we strongly encourage you do NOT start Tagalongs this week. If you’re in a Girl Scout Cookies league, and especially if you’re NOT in a Girl Scout Cookie league, it’s probably best to sit Tagalongs on your bench. Now, you may be thinking, “Yeah, but Girl Scout Cookies were huge a few months ago. They were all the rage!” Like I said earlier, don’t get caught up on one or two weeks of success. Aside from your grandma’s freezer, Girl Scout Cookies are currently nowhere to be found. Plus, you may be thinking, “Yeah, but Tagalongs are Girl Scout Cookies! Girl Scout Cookies always come up big.” I’m afraid to say you couldn’t be more wrong. Just because Tagalongs are part of the Girl Scout Cookies team, doesn’t automatically make them good. Don’t read this the wrong way, it’s nowhere near the worst GSC. I mean, you’ve still got Do-si-dos (yuck) and Trefoils (gross), and don’t even get me started on Savannah Smiles (oh my gah, how can label this a cookie, I just threw up! Savannah Smiles? These should be called Savannah Smiles Until She Tries These Cookies!) but if you feel like you really need to start a Girl Scout Cookie this week, make it a Thin Mint (oh my gah, so delicious) or Samoa (tickles the taste buds).

So this week, make sure you move Tagalongs to your bench. Thanks-a-lot for reading. (That was another Girl Scout Cookie joke.)

Check back next week for more advice on Who NOT To Start.

Previous Who NOT To Start Posts: Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Week 6, Week 7

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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