Who NOT To Start – Week 5

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 5

Remember when we all hated the NFL and wanted Commissioner Roger Goodell fired because he is a terrible human and an even worse commissioner and probably hates children? Ha! That was classic. My what a couple of weeks can do to our attention deficit disorder proned online lynch mobs. It’s like, “GOODELL YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK, GOODELL! …man, I’m hungry. You guys wanna grab a bite?” Then after the meal, “What were we talking about again? Who knows? Oh look, a football game is on!”

Well, since everything is seemingly back to normal in the world of football for everyone who doesn’t hit women, let’s continue the trend by delivering our weekly advice of who NOT to start.

This week, we strongly suggest not starting a turkey club sandwich from Quiznos. Don’t read this the wrong way, turkey club sandwiches from Quiznos are delicious. We just don’t think they’re going to put up big fantasy points this week. The reason? Well, most Quiznos subs are toasted – not as toasted as Oakland Raiders cornerbacks, but still pretty toasted. Plus, they are sandwiches. I’d say unless your fantasy roster is full of Jacksonville Jaguars players, this Quiznos sandwich won’t produce more fantasy points than anyone on your team.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my many years of playing fantasy football, it’s only start Tony Romo on a BYE week. But if there’s TWO things I’ve learned, it’s that sandwiches aren’t great fantasy players.

Check back next week for more advice on Who NOT To Start.

Previous Who NOT To Start Posts: Week 2, Week 3, Week 4

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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats