Who NOT To Start – Week 10
You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.
Week 10
“Oh, great. More fantasy football advice from these jokers at Korked Bats… I better pay really close attention,” you sarcastically say to yourself. Listen, jerk. Your fantasy football team sucks. You need this advice. “Trust me, your advice couldn’t help my mom’s fantasy team!” you respond. Well, yes it could… and wait, your mom has a fantasy team? “Yeah, she’s like in 2nd to last place.” Oh, cool. Who is in last? “I am.” I KNEW IT! Your team does suck! “Yeah, well… You suck!” Oh yeah? Well, I’m not the one who is hitting up a comedy sports website for fantasy football advice. “Touché.” Thanks. “Alright, well… Talk to you later?” Sure. Have a good one.
This week, don’t start Tammy, the receptionist at your office building. Tammy could also be known as “old reliable” or “non-stop Tam Tam” or “Too Much Perfume Tammy.” She has these nicknames, because she never misses work… and also because she wears too much perfume. You may be doubting this advice, assuming that since she shows up everyday, she’ll produce some much needed points this week. Especially those of you who are in a PPR league, you’re probably thinking, “A receptionist would come up huge in a Points Per Reception league.” And you’re right, but you’re negating one fact. Tammy is taking off work this week for the first time in four years. She’s taking her two sons to Disney World. In fact, I don’t know how you missed this. She’s been talking about it since May, and wore Mickey Mouse ears to work nearly everyday for the past three weeks. Plus, on Thursday, she wore perfume called “Bambi Rose,” which smelled like a mix of lilac and deer jerky. So, unless there is a last-minute cancellation or delayed flight, I think it might be best to sit Tammy this weekend.
Check back next week for more advice on Who NOT To Start.
Previous Who NOT To Start Posts: Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, Week 8, Week 9
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For more fantasy football advice, check out the hashtag: #KBFantasyAdvice
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This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff
Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats
