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Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Who NOT To Start In Fantasy Football – Week 7

You can go just about anywhere on the World Wide Web to receive fantasy football advice for who you should start every week. ESPN, Yahoo, Better Homes and Gardens, literally anywhere! However, there is only one place on the World Wide Web where you can go to receive fantasy football advice of who you SHOULD NOT start every week. And that place is KorkedBats.com. You’re welcome.

Week 7

By this point of the season, you probably have a clearer picture of whether or not your fantasy team is making the playoffs or not. And let’s be real, if you haven’t been heeding our advice each week, they you probably aren’t going to the playoffs. You think we just write this column every week just for the fun of it? Hell no. We write it to convey this wealth of knowledge on to you. Do you think anyone these days can pay for a domain name, website hosting, and run their own blog? Well, maybe. But no everyone does. So that makes us experts by default. So take this advice.

This week, you should NOT start Mark Robert Ellis. Now, I know many of you probably already have him starting on your fantasy roster, especially considering you’ve seen him in just about every football movie ever made. He was the quarterbacks coach in Any Given Sunday, a referee in Varsity Blues and Radio, the head coach of San Diego in The Replacements, he was also a football coach in The Shaggy Dog, and who can forget his memorable role as ‘stretcher guy’ in The Longest Yard? He was also in a bunch of baseball movies like Summer Catch, Hardball, and The Rookie. So he probably started on your fantasy baseball team too. But we’re here to tell you that just because Mark Robert Ellis is in every football movie does NOT mean he will help your fantasy football team. Because most leagues, to our knowledge, do not offer points per cameo. If we’re wrong, then by all means, start him in your FLEX.

Just because he can make your football movie better, does not mean he can make your fantasy team better. So just bench him and maybe start Ronald Jones or something instead.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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