Saturday, April 20, 2024

Who Not to Start – Fantasy Week 4

October 3, 2009 Frank

Who Not To Start – Week 4:

The McQuistan Brothers

I was bored recently and tried to find ugliest player in the NFL. Yea, I do cool things with my free time. Anyway, I came across one of these McQuistan brothers and nearly lost my lunch…

…from two days before.

I instantly became intrigued as to how anyone could desire to look THAT unsightly. As I searched for more on this man I discovered that there is TWO of them. Gross, gross, gross. What does their mother think? “Well, I gave birth to 2 NFL players…but they are the two most hideous things anyone who has had the misfortune of laying eyes on them has ever seen or even imagined.”

I want to know why these humans aren’t talked about more. Maybe they are and I just miss it every time fortunately. Or maybe because they are offensive linemen, which is probably the main reason you shouldn’t start these fools on your fantasy team in the first place.

But it’s unfathomable to me how Unpretty they both are (I see you TLC!). It doesn’t help that the one on the left has some sort of odd scab on his lower lip. I would assume it’s an STD, but come on, who would ST anything with a McQuistan brother. And the hair, just uncalled for.

Here are some more pictures for your viewing pleasure (sorry but if I had to see them, you’re gonna have to see them):

Dude, sweet teal scrunchie!

Aww, is someone making fun of you? Well look at yourself.

And the winner is…

Just when I thought you couldn’t get any uglier, I come across this image.

And so I urge all of you who are in fantasy leagues that incorporate offensive linemen to get out of that league immediately because that’s just stupid. If you can’t leave it and join a real league, make sure you don’t start either of these brothers this week…or ever.