Monday, April 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Who Not to Start – Fantasy Week 2

Who Not To Start – Week 2:

Barney Gorman

This week I highly recommend that you DO NOT start Barney Gorman (side note: I hear he goes by Tony Danza now). I know what you’re thinking. “But he’s the Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon!” Oh how the mighty have fallen. I haven’t done the research, because I am a sane human being despite what I may come across as, but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t seen a snap since the Eagles signed David Akers in 1999. It’s a true shame for a guy who went from rags to riches after developing an abnormally strong leg after years of kicking the broken hydraulic lever on his…ah, who am I kidding? I’m giving you a plot summary as if you haven’t seen the movie. It’s like FernGully, everyone and their mother has seen it. Most of us multiple times.

I am so certain that Gorman won’t get you points this week that I chose him over this guy:

Now that’s saying something (9 picks in 2 games, wow). But, after countless hours of analyzing team rosters, injuries, match ups, and past fantasy performances, I felt that the injury to Donovan McNabb and lack of playing time over the last decade qualifies Barney Gorman as a poor fantasy start this week.

Also, if you are in the closing weeks of your Fantasy Baseball League, don’t start Mel Clark. I heard from a very reliable inside source that he doesn’t have much left and is actually going to die six months after the end of the season from lung cancer.

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