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Korked Bats

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Who Not to Start – Fantasy Week 14

Who Not To Start – Week 14:
“Championships have to be won on their own. It’s a rule.”
I hate to do it to you guys, but I can no longer be of any assistance to you and your fantasy team for the remainder of the season. As I learned in my football glory days (four days of spring practice at Woodland Middle School), all good things must come to an end. I’m not a rule breaker. As most of you know, its playoff time in most fantasy leagues. And if Christopher Lloyd, a.k.a. Al in “Angels in the Outfield”, says “Championships have to be won on their own,” then you better believe I ain’t about to continue serving as your crutch on a weekly basis.
Luckily for you, if you have been following my advice religiously you probably have secured the top overall seed in your bracket and have all the pieces in place to take home the crown. Congratulations!
For reflection’s sake, let’s take a look at all of the special “athletes” I have featured in this series from week 1 to 13.
  1. Donte Stallworth
  2. Barney Gorman
  3. Anyone in the Cleveland Browns Secondary
  4. The McQuistan Brothers
  5. Roseanne
  6. Owen Schmitt
  7. Nobody (This was an actual post that got mysteriously deleted. Ironic huh?)
  8. Larry Johnson
  9. JaMarcus Russell
  10. The Icebox
  11. Edward Cullen
  12. Leonard Davis
  13. Ethan Albright
Well, that was fun. Good luck to all those who have gained an advantage over your opponents with my help. Please note I will be expecting at least 10% of your winnings.
So what’s next from me? In the coming days I am going to introduce a new column called “Let Me be Frank With You…”.

Get it? My name is Frank. It’s funny. It’s a pun. In this series I will tackle the top 5 or so “hot” stories in sports and possibly even my personal life in a highly opinionated, over simplified fashion.



I feared that.

Either way, it’s coming so get ready! I promise it’s going to be as cool as sweatpants with Ugg Boots. As an added bonus, this new series will be written by a new graduate of the University of Tennessee. Woohoo, go me! So they should be a lot smarter and stuff.

UT graduates celebrating

One thought on “Who Not to Start – Fantasy Week 14

  • Avatar
    December 14, 2009 at 8:43 am

    Frank I would like to personally thank you for your advice this season. Because I followed your suggestions religiously I beat David "The Softball Trash Talker" Catterton to go to the playoffs. Thank you for allowing me that satisfaction.


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