Who Not to Start – Fantasy Week 12

November 28, 2009 Frank

Who Not To Start – Week 12:

Leonard Davis

Before you read this, understand that I do know the Cowboys have already played this week on Thanksgiving but I felt compelled to expose the NFL’s heaviest player in honor of the holidays. Add that to the fact that I’m pretty sure there isn’t a human on this earth that actually relies on my fantasy advice, aside from this guy (he told me this past Wednesday after our annual Turkey Bowl backyard football game in which his team beat mine twice, jerk).

Anyway, I didn’t watch the Cowboys game because Tony Romo annoys me and the Raiders have a coach that beats women. But I can bet you that 392 lb. offensive guard Leonard Davis was highly distracted by the delicious Thanksgiving feast calling his name on the sideline thus limiting his abilities on the field.

Browsing one of my favorite websites, KidzWorld.com, I learned that Leonard has weighed over 300 lbs. since 7th grade! The only guy I can remember weighing that much in 7th grade was….wait, that’s mean. I won’t go there.

To put his weight in perspective, lets compare this mammoth creature to some other players in the NFL. And by players, I mean the combined weight of these players.

He weighs 49 lbs. more than Roscoe Parrish & Dennis Northcutt, combined.

45 lbs. more than Brian Moorman & Samari Rolle

40 lbs. more than DeSean Jackson & Jacob Lacey

Aside from his unbelievable weight, Wikipedia had a few other fun facts about Mr. Davis:

Leonard is the only child of L.A. and Sammie Lee Davis, but has 21 half-brothers and half-sisters (L.A. had 11 children from a previous marriage, while Sammie Lee had 10 children from a previous marriage). I don’t know whats cooler, having 21 half siblings or a mom named L.A. & a dad named Sammie Davis.

He won state championship in basketball in high school. How annoying would it be to have to guard a man of his size? Big Baby doesn’t have anything on Big Leonard.

Davis is the bassist in the heavy metal band Free Reign with Cowboys’ teammates Marc Colombo and Cory Procter with guitarist Justin Chapman. Ummm, heavy metal?

According to Forbes, Davis was the highest paid NFL player and 19th overall athlete in the 12 month period ending June 2007, earning $25.4 million. I guess the Cowboys must have wanted to compensate for his weekly quadruple digit grocery bills.

So if you have a time machine and can travel back in time to the day before Thanksgiving, do not start Leonard Davis. But don’t tell him because I’m fairly positive he’d spread you on some saltines and eat you.