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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

What’s Up With That?

If you are anything like me and you spent all day rolling around in all of the brand new cars and diamonds for Christmas, you almost missed all of the exciting sports action that happened yesterday.

Here is a quick recap:

Aaron Rogers helped the Green Bay Packers get home field advantage for the playoffs. That’s really important in sports. In the NBA, the Knicks beat the Celtics, Miami beat Dallas (sorry, I’m not sorry, Texas) and the Bulls (what, what?!) (…I hate the Lakers) beat the Lakers. Oh, and a WNBA team, the Oklahoma City Thunder surprisingly beat a NBA team, the Orlando Magic. It was a day full of surprises. But other than sports, I wanted to spread some light on the seemingly perfect life of sports stars.

Do you ever feel bad for going to the movie theater on Christmas or Thanksgiving because all of those acne-faced teenagers have to put on those terrible vested uniforms, non-slip shoes and leave their cozy homes and families to tear your tickets and point you to the right theater? Yes. You do feel bad. Yes, my family and I would like butter on our over priced popcorn. Yes, these peanut butter M&M’s will be all, have a good day at work while I pretend to enjoy We Bought A Zoo after I didn’t even bother changing out of my stretchy pants.

While I was watching basketball games yesterday, I started feeling bad for a different group of people and I was trying decide if it was worth it to feel bad, so I made a pros and cons list. Don’t worry, I was asked to not share it with you.

Instead, I want you to try and imagine being a multi millionaire and getting told that your first day back on the job is Christmas. Sure, you can open your presents on Christmas Eve, but then what will you do on Christmas? Swim in all your money? Fine, but really? America will sit at home in their PJ’s eating excessive amounts of turkey or ham or sweet potatoes and you will be losing to a WNBA team. How embarrassing.

Who even goes to basketball games on Christmas anyway? Jack Nicholson even took a break from being a Laker cheerleader to hang out anywhere else but at the game. Now, I would go to a basketball game on Christmas if I could be promised that my team would win.  If my team lost, it would be like opening one of my Christmas presents and finding an autographed picture of Karl Malone or something really horrible like that.

Anyway, the next time your little one wants to be a professional athlete when they grow up, decide right then, how important Christmas is to you.  Steer your kiddos toward baseball or NASCAR, they are less respectable sports*, but at least those take a break during the Christmas Holiday.

And, yes, I know Santa works on Christmas, but he knew what kind of gig he was getting into when he signed up. I don’t feel bad for him. He also has a lot of help.

*Okay, baseball isn’t less respectable, but I felt bad leaving NASCAR all alone out there.

Next Up, New Year’s Resolutions:  Who’s making them and who’s wishing their sport was on strike?

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