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What Just Happened?

We all reminisce of the old days, when Saturday Night Live was actually entertaining. They had the Roxbury Guys, the Ladies Man, Brian Fellows, and that woman from Burger Castle who told us all to “SIMMA DON NA!”

After these past few months in the sporting world, I feel like we need to listen to her more than ever. It seems that every 15 minutes, the sports world is overreacting over something new. The most recent issue being the whole “conference realignment ordeal (that ended up not being as big as people made it to be).

So as the smoke finally begins to clear, and it appears that the Big Twelve (or Big Ten or Big Twen?) is actually going to stay together, let us take a look back at the past few weeks/months that brought us to this moment so we can find out how we got this college football hangover.

BBD

August 2007: The Big Ten launches its own television network making it the most profitable conference in the NCAA at the time.

August 2009: The SEC begins its very lucrative contract with ABC/ESPN, giving the conference more money than the Big XII, Pac-10, and Big East COMBINED.

January 14, 2010: Jim Delany, the Commissioner of the Big Ten, states that his conference will begin searching for another team in order to have a Big Ten Championship Game over the next 12-18 months.

January 15: Every team not in the Big Ten or SEC wants in.

Februrary 1: Scratch that… some Catholic School that no one watches anymore says they want to keep their “Rich tradition of being an Independent.”

February 9: The Time Traveler’s Wife is released on DVD/Blu-ray

April 19: Half of the Big XII gets drafted in the First Round of the NFL Draft and the Big Ten takes note.

May 24: Rumors circulate that Nebraska, Mizzou, Notre Dame, and Rutgers have been invited to share the wealth with the Big Ten.

May28: Some kid updates his Facebook status and says that “ACC don’t need no expansion”… 15 of his friends comment.

June 4: The Pac-10 invites half the Big XII and the hoopla officially begins.

June 9: The Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup.

Morning of June 10: Nebraska leaving the Big XII receives more coverage than the Chicago Blackhawks.

Afternoon of June 10: Colorado leaves for the Pac-10 making the entire Big XII South better than the entire Big XII North.

Night of June 10: The Big XII may have anywhere from 0-10 members.

June 11: Jared’s and My Birthday. No, we’re not twins but we are both very good looking.

June 11: The World Cup begins.

June 11: The University of Vermont declares that they WILL be staying in the American East… Whew.

June 13: That same kid from before updates his Facebook status again and says “ACC bout to silence all da haters”… 30 people comment but he no longer has friends.

Today: Texas, Texas A&M, and Oklahoma receive a lucrative TV deal and all three decide to stick with the Big XII (Now just X).

BBD

In Conclusion:

  • The Big Ten will now have a championship game.
  • Texas is now playing making more money and still runs the Big XII front offices.
  • USC minus 30 players is still the best team in the Pac-11.
  • The SEC didn’t do anything and still making more money than most conferences.
  • That Facebook kid probably plays FarmVille.

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