What Goes Through Tim Tebow’s Mind

I have been doing a lot of thinking about who I want my athlete of the week to be and against my better judgment, I decided on one moderately handsome quarterback that wears his giant crybaby heart on his new Denver Broncos sleeve.

Now, the reason that this gentleman is on my radar has a lot to do with this new ESPN The Magazine cover. I just can’t imagine what was going on during this photo shoot. What had to happen in this photographer’s life to think this was the winning cover. What was going on in Tim Tebow’s life for him to do that thing with his nose? So, I decided to come up with a list of things that could potentially be going through Timmy’s mind while he was modeling for this photoshoot:

1. Are Kim Kardashian and that basketball player, Kris, going to make it?

2. Remember when I was home schooled? That was crazy right?

3. Do my eyes look that dreamy shade of blue that all the girls like?

4. Does this angle make my beard look thick?

5. Hard work beats talent if the going gets tough and the creek don’t rise.

6. This Axe Hair Gel really works.

7. Does this angle make my muscles look big? Just kidding, my muscles always look big.

8. Should I move this glove?

9. Nah, the glove looks good.

10. That interrupting cow knock-knock joke gets me every time, mom.

11. Eat, Pray, Love.

12. Has anyone ever talked about what the state of Florida actually looks like? ::giggles to self::

13. Should I change my insurance to that one with that funny lady with the apron on?

14. Mascot’s are always ready for Halloween. Huh.

15. I can lift a small car.

16. Can Vampires really love people?

17.  Are landfills real?

18. Colossians 3:23

19. If yes, then where are they hiding?

20. Do you think Adele is ever going to get her voice back and sing again?

21. When are the Colts going to be good again?

22. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are so good.

23. I’m Tim Tebow. Why won’t they let me rent a car. #24YearOldProblems

24. …this one is for the boys with the boomin’ systems…

25. What would it be like to be normal again?

26. Did I forget to TIVO Parenthood? Oh no.

27. “Some claimed that he was. Others said, “No it only looks like him.” But he, himself, insisted, “I am the man.” -John 9:9

28. Should I have paid more attention to the National Treasure movies?

29. Are people supposed to read their own biographies? Should I not have? Twice.

30. Mormons do the Jimmer. Christians do the Timmer.

31. I don’t really like Pitbull’s music.

Tim, you are too nice to make fun of. This picture is weird. Your nostrils look larger than normal. I can understand that the altitude is getting to you. I can understand that it’s difficult to breathe up there. But goodness gracious, those things are ginormous! I would love to interview you about your autobiography anytime you are close to Nashville. I will wear a dress and heels and then we can talk about what we like to do for fun and how crazy our families are and then we can talk about how crazy it is that you already have an autobiography. At 23-years-old. Most presidents wait until they are out of office and need extra money before they start writing their autobiography books. You are ahead of the game by about sixty five years. Hey lastly, do you want to go see that new Adam Sandler Movie, “Jack and Jill” with me?

Love, (don’t freak out, this is just how I sign all of my online letters)

Erin

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This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @LadiesRoomKB – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

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